Day 14 – Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.

16 Day Blog Challenge. 

Day 14 – I wish I hadn't gotten myself into a ton of debt from college. I wish I would have applied to a million scholarships and found a way to go to college for free. I hate that I used Sallie Mae also, biggest scammers around. They are like the mafia or insane loan sharks...something. I make sure to tell everyone I know not to use them or ever consider letting someone use them. Horrible customer service. Even when you want to try to work something reasonable out they aren't interested. 

Day 13 – A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough days.

16 Day Blog Challenge. 

Day 13 – Incubus for sure. They were huge when I was going through shit. I'd just fall asleep listening to them. I think they're an amazing band. I remember going to their concert in Cleveland with my mom and sister. It was a great time.  

Day 12 – The reason you believe you’re still alive today.

16 Day Blog Challenge. 

Day 12 – I think everyone has a purpose and a journey that we are here to travel or complete. I think my journey is suppose to be a long one. I take everything and I appreciate it. I have been through ups and downs but I have always found a way to learn from what I'm doing. I feel lucky to be alive even in the most stressful of times.  I'm not only lucky but blessed. You don't need to attend church every Sunday or ever, to have an amazing relationship with god or whatever you believe in. The key is to believe in something and trust your beliefs. 

Day 11 – What if you were pregnant, what would you do?

16 Day Blog Challenge. 

Day 11 – This question seems pretty irrelevant to me because I do not plan to have children and I'm single lol. But if I were single right now I'd be wondering why God planted a super seed in me that came from somewhere other then a man lmao! 

Day 10 – Have you ever thought about giving up on life?

16 Day Blog Challenge. 

Day 10 – I can honestly say that I have never seriously considered suicide, which is my interpretation to this question (giving up on life).  There were times when I was younger when I'd think about my father not wanting me that I'd briefly think I wasn't worth it. I just never thought suicide was an answer. I have been very lucky to have family who loved me and always made me feel great about myself and feel worth it. Still to this day when I'm stressed out the first thing I do is call family. I appreciate them being there for me and teaching me the value of myself and my gifts. 


I hope that more people can really take advantage of a support system such as a family and friends to keep them strong when they are going through a tough time. No one should choose suicide as a mission. 

Day 09 – Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs.

16 Day Blog Challenge. 

Day 09 – This is for my future husband...whoever he may be. Some cheesy love songs that I like :) 


The Best In Me- Marvin Sapp
Cater to you- Destiny's Child
Love Song- Sara Bareallis 
The Only Exception- Paramore
Love- Keyshia Cole


There are like a million more. Anything by John Legend, Chrisette Michelle, Anthony Hamilton....

Day 08 – Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.

16 Day Blog Challenge. 

Day 08 – Ah yes, R & J, these are two miserable people from a former job who could do nothing but torture me. I was in a senior position and they did not like that someone decades younger knew much more than they did. They were threatened and it was obvious to all around. What they don't know is that their anger was entertaining and their insecurity was funny. I feel sorry for them and failure is coming their way very soon. Their evil plan actually gave me a push in the right direction and has made me happier than I was when I was around their incompetent under showered selves.

This was an odd topic for Christmas night but whatever lol! 

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas Everyone

I hope that everyone enjoys their family and friends on this wonderful day.

It's so funny to reflect back on Christmas adventures over the years. Last year Christmas night I was in Denny's laughing like crazy with my mom and sister. Who knows what this year will hold. Right now I am in Ohio so I'm hoping to update ASAP and fill you in on more of my adventures. My family is my world and I appreciate the time I spend with them more than any other time I have in my life. 

As a kid Christmas is about the presents we get and how quick we can wake up Christmas morning to run to the tree to unwrap our gifts. As an adult its all about making others happy and seeing their reaction to the things you get them. I love this holiday. Even though I am broke this holiday it's just the fact that I get to be home with the people I love. 

Day 07 – Someone who has made your life worth living for.

16 Day Blog Challenge. 

Day 07 – For this I have to pick four people, I cannot dwindle it down to just one. My grandmother, sister, mother and grandfather are the people who have made my life worth living. Whether they were helping me through a tough time, or loving me just because they are the reason I am who I am. This past year I got a tattoo to represent all of our birthdays and its really special to me. 


Check out my blog I'm Lucky to Have My Family.

Day 06 – Something you hope you never have to do.

16 Day Blog Challenge. 

Day 06 – The first thing that comes to mind is that I hope I never have to bury a loved one, but we all know as time goes on people get older. This one is really hard for me. If I have to choose something, I think I'd never want to have to change who I am for any reason whether it be a man or a job or anything. I want to be who I am, whether that be perfect or just working on it. 

Day 05 – Something you hope to do in your life.

16 Day Blog Challenge. 

Day 05 – I hope to be married and live a long happy life with one man who is faithful and only ever thinks about me as "the one" for him. The idea of marriage is so scary to me but I can truthfully say there aren't many things in life that I want more. I don't necessarily feel ready today but I want this for my future. I want a husband and I want to experience life with him. I want to cook for him and vacation. Sometimes I'm afraid it won't happen but I refuse to give up on that dream. I don't "dream" much but on this occasion I just cannot stop. I am even nuts enough to already know the colors that I want my wedding to be and somewhat how I want my dress to look. I just hope it works out for me. Patience is a virtue right?

Day 04 – Something you have to forgive someone for.

16 Day Blog Challenge. 

Day 04 – Even though I will never meet him, I have to forgive my father. I don't know him nor will I ever but I have to forgive the idea of him and know it was not meant to be. It breaks my heart to think about a man not wanting to be in a childs life but at the same time I do not want kids so I understand how he must have felt. Doesn't make it hurt less, I don't think it ever will but I want to forgive him in my mind and not be so angry and hurt. 

Day 03 – Something you have to forgive yourself for.

16 Day Blog Challenge. 

Day 03 – I have to forgive myself for a few past mistakes that I have made. Ones that I cannot just learn from but ones that have altered how I go about certain things. I just have to forgive  myself and realize some things happen for really weird reasons even if it doesn't make sense right now. 

Most mistakes you can just learn from and move on, this one I cannot just fix which makes it all the more harder to handle. I'm a fixer and I hate not being able to make it all better. I have to forgive myself for the mistakes I have made that have led me here.

Day 02 – Something you love about yourself.

16 Day Blog Challenge. 

Day 02 - I love that regardless of how many times I have been hurt in life by friends or men I refuse to give up on people. I care for people and always go out of my way to be the best friend or girlfriend that I can be. I refuse to give up on the idea that there is a Mr. Right for me. 

16 Day Blog Challange (Day One)

16 Day Blog Challenge. Tune in to learn about The Savvy Brunette over the next 16 days. I hope this will give me the motivation I need to get blogging more frequently.

Day 01 – Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 – Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 – Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 – Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 – Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 – Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 – Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 – Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 – Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs.
Day 10 – Have you ever thought about giving up on life?
Day 11 – What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 12 – The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 13 – A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough days.
Day 14 – Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 15 – A letter to yourself, tell yourself ANYTHING you think you should know about your life.
Day 16 – What is in your bag? 

Day 01 - I'm a "perfectionist" which has proven to hurt more than help sometimes. Sometimes when I see a challenge or something new and I'm unsure of how I'll do I might just not do it. Either that or it takes me a lot of time to get the courage up to do something I may fail at. I hate that I can't just live life and try everything without letting fear slow me down. Take every opportunity for what it is. I'm not perfect and it's never going to happen. I want to stop letting my fears stop me from experiencing life. I think it's holding me back. 

Clogged Head Space

I'm at a weird place in my life right now. My "head space" as I have been calling it lately is really clogged and foggy. I don't see much clearly right now, because quite frankly I can't see the future and the present is day to day for me. I feel like I have accomplished a lot but then it feels like it isn't making a difference at all. A few months ago I was let go from a job, the position no longer exists that I once held and enjoyed. Towards the end it was a very miserable place to be with a lot of over confident and under qualified people running around with their heads chopped off. I can say with complete honesty I am so happy to be out of that place and away from all of the negativity that surrounded it. Not only that but it FINALLY gave me the push I needed to be done with nonprofit work and start to look for work in business that I would enjoy.


The problem is, as we all know, jobs aren't overflowing everywhere like I'd hope they would be. I knew it would take awhile to find something I enjoyed but it's been about 3 months and I'm just not finding the right type of leads. I'm a young leader, that isn't up for question, I've always led in every position I have been in. What has been the biggest struggle, and most interesting of all is really trying to pinpoint what it is that I want to do and what I want next in my life. The answer...is still up for discussion. I spent about 6 years of my life building a fundraising career, one that I just recently realized that I do not want at all. Fundraising isn't my style, don't get me wrong I've had a lot of success in it but it doesn't keep me excited to go to work each day. I want to use my creativity and excitement for challenge in a position. I loved working in professional sports because not only was it a great family type organization but it also appealed to my need for exclusivity. The job was very exclusive and I love that. I love doing something that not everyone can do. Of course with exclusivity comes a hell of a time getting your foot in the door in the first place. My sports job was pure luck I think. I didn't know anyone and was not from Chicago but I made it work. I'd go back to sports if the right opportunity came up in either Community Relations, Marketing, Events or Sponsorship. Those things really appeal to me in the sports world. In the regular world I love Marketing, Business Development, Events and maybe even Sales. I've been doing a lot of thinking about sales lately, very challenging and there is a lot of opportunity for financial success.

Is it all about the money? Good question....no not all but partially about it. I can no longer say that I want to work to help others and live paycheck to paycheck. I'm now 28 years old and I haven't experienced so many things in life because I could never afford it. I have barely traveled and it is because I couldn't afford it. Doesn't help that I hate flying, but I'm willing to get over that. I don't have huge aspiration to be a globe trotter, but I want to see some of the amazing cities in the US that I have never seen. A major reason is because maybe Chicago isn't the place for me. Maybe there is somewhere else, somewhere WARM that I'd be happy to spend the rest of my life in. I have been in Chicago for almost 6 years and I have absolutely loved it here, but I didn't sign a contract to live here forever. If I finally get over my fear of flying I can just hop on a flight from anywhere to see my family. I say I want to be close to home but quite frankly I don't drive home anyhow, 5-6 hours is too far of a drive for me. When I ask my friends what they think about places I'd like I keep hearing San Diego over and over again. I know I like Atlanta, not so much the mountains in TN that you drive through to get there but I do like Atlanta. I think I could like Miami, although I'd need to be in much better shape because everyone there is amazing lol. I want to visit all of these places and really give them a chance. 

So this is why my head space is a big old clogged mess. I don't know what's next and I'm confused on how big of a blind step I want to take. Bottom line I need a new job. Most likely it needs to be in Chicago because I cannot afford to move yet. If I move it'll be after my next job when I can save up the money to do that. 

My head space also has a lot of swirling about dating. I went through the last half of the year dating like crazy, meeting a lot of men and going out on dates. I was doing it just to show myself that I could, but what ended up happening was that I kept meeting guys who I wasn't really into so it was bumming me out more than anything. I had a ton of first dates and avoided a lot of seconds because I just wasn't feeling the quality. I'm changing to quality over quantity from now on. There is no point in dating as a sport. If a guy doesn't have his shit together and have goals and respect then I've got no room in my life for that type of person.

I'm excited and scared to see what's next....mainly excited with just a pinch of scared. 

Marvin Sapp | The Best In Me

This is such an amazing song...definitely a future wedding song!

New Years Resolutions

Until this moment I hadn't really thought much about it but for now I have one that I want to share and that is....

NO MORE FAST FOOD...

except Jimmy John's Vegetarian subs. Which I don't really think is fast food anyhow even though their slogan is fast. I'm all about getting it together and getting healthy this year.
Workin it out + getting sexier=finding Mr. Right!!

More resolutions to come soon....

Happy 1 Year Anniversary Savvy Brunette

My blog and I have survived a year together. 80 blogs later and it's already been a year...wow! I promise to give my blog much more attention in year two. I have really enjoyed starting The Savvy Brunette though, I even bought my URL which was an awesome step!!

I have been so busy with life that it took me a little bit to even post my 1 year. I just turned 28 years old and I'm very excited about that. I'm hoping for a great year, and a great 2011. I have a feeling things are going to be good and I plan to share the good and the bad on my blog!!

Thank you to everyone who had read my blog over the past year and especially those who have commented. I really appreciate it!!

ALSO.....HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!! Gobble gobble!

Be thankful for all the amazing people in your life, and for the opportunity to wake up everyday and breathe fresh air. We control our own lives, even when it does not feel like it. Be thankful for the choices you make, and the opportunities you have. I know I am. 

 I am unfortunately not with my family this year but I am so thankful for everything they do for me, especially my grandparents. They are my rock. I'm thankful to have such a loving sister and mother as well and wonderful friends who really made my 28th birthday special. I'm thankful that even though my life hasn't been perfect I have an opportunity to make changes to make it even better!! 

xoxo

The CW Glamorizes Student Teacher Affairs

I have no problem admitting that I am addicted to what most would called teenage drama shows. What I do have a problem with is that one in particular is glamorizing a student teacher affair. They make a big point to show us that they both know it is wrong, but their feelings are so strong so they refuse to do what is right.

Not too long ago I worked in a school where this was a real life issue. A male teacher had an "alleged" affair with a high school girl, he was late 20s she was about 16 or 17 years old. There was nothing glamorous about the situation or what happened afterwards once the truth came to light. The lives of both people were ruined. Students were confused and placed blame on their fellow student because they did not understand just how wrong it was. Knowing that teenagers don't get that its wrong and they are quick to blame their peers is very disturbing to me. It seems like every month there is a new story of a male or female teacher taking advantage of a student. I remember when I was 17, I dated a 21 year old which seemed ok at the time, but I see just how wrong it was now that I'm older. It's not like the guy was buying me booze, I was a goodie goodie so I wasn't after all of that but just the shear fact that he was that  much older when I was in high school was a tad much. Parents need to teach their kids about dating beyond the 5 minute birds and bees conversation. The fact that high school crushes are turning into full blown sexual relationships between students and teachers is just wrong.

Life Unexpected is a show on The CW where a troubled girl who grew up bouncing around the foster care system finds her parents. I think she's about 14 on the show, and they have her in a relationship with a brand new teacher who must be early to mid 20s. They hooked up before she knew he was a teacher and once they both found out they could not stay away from each other even though they knew it was wrong. They even went as far to go to another town so they could have a date and be out in public holding hands and being a couple. It seems so inappropriate to be showing this to a targeted age group of teenage girls. It is romanticizing  student teacher relationships.

A good friend of mine and I were having this discussion the other day, and we both had very similar views that something needs to be done to stop things like this from happening. The problem is, there is no easy answer. Do you put a cap on how young new teachers are that deal with high school kids? Maybe. Understandably when you say that the first thing people think is that its typically happening with older male teachers, I don't agree. That's what we hear about in the media the most, but if you really look into the news you will see many more "relationships" with young teachers and high school students. When considering restrictions where does it end though. There are many talented young adults that work with kids and would never consider violating them.

There are so many kids out there having a tough time at home and they look to another adult for attention and acceptance. Where does a teacher or school worker draw the line when a student is coming to them? I think a teacher can be a mentor, but I do not think they can ever meet off school grounds. They can meet in school, before or after school or during lunch or study hall. Teachers and students have to use their best judgement in order not to set themselves up for a tough situation. What is the point where the line is crossed? Is it when a student and teacher are meeting daily, is it when they're hugging, what is that point? I think teachers need to all go through thorough training before they are hired, and every so often about appropriate behavior with students and colleagues. What are some other ways to stop relationships like this from happening?

I Voted....Did You?

I VOTED (last week), DID YOU? Voting is so important, I have been doing it since age 18. This is my first time voting in Illinois though. I use to vote absentee in Ohio because I wasn't sure if I was planning to stay and I also felt Ohio needed all the Democratic votes that it could get. I knew it was most definitely was time to register here though because I have been here 5 1/2 years.

While checking out my Facebook and Twitter this past week I was really saddened to see that a lot of people were not planning to vote. I did my best to impart my "wisdom" to try to motivate my friends who were confused to put it nicely. I never ever push my opinions on others or tell them who to vote for, but I think it is very important for people to know how important voting is.

The response I got from some was:

"I don't like any of the candidates". 

"I'll vote in 2012 for Obama again". 

"I'm waiting to vote for Mayor next year".

"This election isn't important".

"My vote doesn't really count". 

"I don't know, if I have time". (which as we all know means not gonna happen)

My thought on all of those responses aka EXCUSES is that those are not good reasons, in fact there is no good reason. We vote because it gives us rights, and it gives us the right to have an opinion. If you do not vote, do not expect anyone to listen to you complaining when a politician you hate does something that turns your stomach. Take the time and just vote, show that not only do you have opinions but you really care about choosing someone to make changes.

One of the most important things about voting today in this election is that Obama needs to maintain power so that he can make important decisions and have the support for those decisions to matter. Obama needs Democrats in office so that he will have that support. So even if you do not know anything about politics, if you're an Obama supporter/fan then just vote a democratic ticket. 

DISCLAIMER: In no way shape or form am I encouraging people to vote Democratic just because I do. I do not judge people for their political affiliation. I just think its important to make a decision and then go out and vote!!

The picture above was my cute little foursquare badge I earned by voting. I had to check in today and say "I Voted" to earn it, even though I voted last week! It still counts, I VOTED!! The second one was just silly! 

28 things to do while I'm 28

I am almost TWENTY-EIGHT years old! Just a little under a month away and I'll be that much closer to 30...eeek!! I think I kind of wasted age 27 on being absolutely miserable at a job and dating a ton of weenies...NO MORE OF THAT! The official list start date is my birthday: November 21st, so hopefully I remember to come back in a year and see if I completed it all. I will try to update as I go. 


28 THINGS TO DO WHILE I AM 28

1. GET IN SHAPE…shed some extra lbs.
2. Enjoy life…figure out what my “happiness” is and how to start traveling towards it.
3. Date a better quality of men. No more D-bags for age 28!!
4. Visit my family in Ohio more. A few measly times a year is not acceptable!!
5. Make some new friends! 
6. Travel to Miami to see my bestie Devon
7. Travel to NYC to see my good friend Nicole and just see NYC for the first time
8. Start a new career path, one that will be the one I was meant to travel one.
9. Get over my fear of flying, or at least make an attempt and get on a plane
10.  Get a new car!! Vroom Vroom.
11. Waste less time online tweeting & facebooking. 
12. Blog more (not a waste of online time).
13. Volunteer for a nonprofit that I actually care for. 
14. Look into becoming a mentor to kids.
15.  Get a new tattoo or two. “Just Breathe” first'
16. Drink a lot less pop, like 75% less than what I drink now. 
17. CHILL OUT...stop stressing about everything. Life will work out.
18. Convince my roommate to sign a 2nd year lease in our townhome :)
19. Find some hobbies that get me out and enjoying life.
20. Go to more festivals and Chicago activities.
21. Wear a dress. Ok this sounds weird but I have been wearing one a year and it was for a gala I did, and now that I'm no longer involved I need to really push myself to do this. 
22. Let my family and friends know how much they mean to me. 
23. Take more pictures to remember the great memories with those I care about.
24. Go to a Michigan Wolverines football game.
25. Stop shaving and start getting waxed..I know TMI, but hey it's MY list :)
26. Add a few colors other than black into my wardrobe.
27. Stop having so many phobias and face my fears and overcome them.
28. Vote for Rahm Emanuel to be the next Mayor of Chicago!! 

Crossed out items are completed.

Italicized items are in progress.

Bullying in Todays Society

Bullying is a huge problem worldwide, and it seems to have reared an even meaner headed in todays society. With things like Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, and email bullying has climbed to an all new level. The effects of bullying can last forever, and with such easy access to social media the ability to bully is limitless. When I was in high school there were very few bullies, and by no means were they going online to do their dirty work. It was only 10 years ago and there was not even an option to bully online, it was old fashion teasing and kids being jerks. In todays society bullying consists of completely breaking someone down to the lowest form and spreading it all over online. In my opinion the biggest difference between bullying and how kids react today versus ten years ago is that when someone was bullied ten years ago only a handful of people would find out about it, today kids are spreading it all over the web. I cannot imagine how these poor kids feel when bullying goes online because other join in and it becomes a real life monster before anyone can stop it.

A friend of mine who is older has a teenage daughter who got heavily bullied online this past year. She was not a very popular girl and she put herself in all the wrong situations, but never deserved to be harassed. The bullies began to spread lies about her online and they would invite their friends from other schools to jump in and bully the girl. There were kids that knew nothing about her jumping in just to be mean. It got to the point, where a complete stranger was telling the poor girl he was going to come to her house and take care of her. At this point my friend, who was the mother of the bullied girl had to file a police report. The police actually went to the house of the girl who was recruiting people to harass my friends daughter. This was just this past year, and I know the girl still struggles with trusting people because she is afraid that it will happen again. Her mother pulled her out of the school and transfered her to a neighboring school in hopes of squashing the problem.

A second situation involved a parent and her daughter making online videos and posting them to Facebook to bully some of the girls classmates. When I saw the video I was beyond shocked and disgusted, because a parent who is at least 30+ is on a video posted to Facebook calling 3 teenage girls jealous bitches and all assortment of other names. This 30 year old woman had the balls to go on video to call teenagers names and threaten them, that is beyond unacceptable. She did not stop there, she went to all the upcoming basketball games with her daughter and stared down the girls she was bullying with her daughter each time. This situation made me really question what was wrong with people, especially parents who thought it was ok to go after children. I do not care if your kid is telling you these girls are mean, then you talk to those girls parents; what you do not do is take to Facebook video to call them bitches and threaten them. What happened to parents leading by example?

To know that being bullied is so hard to take for some kids that they are committing suicide is so sad. No kid should ever feel like they have to disappear just to finally be rid of their pain. I also think parents need to pay closer attention to what is going on with their kids. If your child is in pain you have to be there for them so they release the pain instead of hold it in and feel like they have no one. I have to admit that I often wonder why so many parents do not know that their kids are being bullied or are the bullies. Are parents taking a hands off role, or is it really happening that quietly? In the days where a majority of the bullying is online, I think there is no excuse for parents to not know what is going on. Parents should be aware of what is going on with their children at all times, they should have access to their Facebook. I know kids want their privacy, but give me a break there are things more important, like saving their life.

I was shocked when I logged onto Facebook today and the first status message I saw was a friend going on a rant how kids need to learn how to deal with bullies. Essentially calling them weak, I just think thats wrong. Yes, kids should learn how to cope and be strong but they are not the problem. Parents need to get control over their bullying kids, and maybe hug them once in awhile or send them to a psychiatrist. The child being bullied is not to blame. I really believe that all high schools and even grammar schools should have anti-bullying programs to teach kids the real results of bullying.

When I was in high school I was never bullied but I saw the effects of others being bullied and its unacceptable. When you look back on those years, I see that the biggest bullies are now the biggest losers. It is because they are deficient in areas that make them feel the need to over compensate and feel like the big winner by bringing others down. I wish kids could look into the future and see that things would get better, they just have to remove themselves from the here and now and make it through the tough times. I also really wish that people would take those being bullied under their wings and let them know they have support and they are not alone.

There is an excellent website with resources on bullying, to check it out visit: http://www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/kids/

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

BREAST CANCER IN THE UNITED STATES STATISTICS

Go here for more: http://ww5.komen.org/BreastCancer/Statistics.html

From the 1940s until recently, the rate of new cases of breast cancer (called incidence) in the United States increased by a little over one percent a year. In the 1980s, the rate of new cases rose dramatically (likely due to increased screening), and during the 1990s the rate of new cases leveled off. From 1999 to 2006, there was a decline in the rate of new breast cancer cases [5,41]. Although mammography screening rates fell somewhat over this same time period, recent studies show these changes were not likely related to the decline in breast cancer rates [42,43]. The decline appears to be related to the drop in use of postmenopausal hormones that occurred after the Women's Health Initiative study showed that their use increased risk of breast cancer and heart disease [19,41,42,43]. About 207,090 new cases of breast cancer will be diagnosed in women in the United States in 2010 [5]. In 1975 the incidence of breast cancer was 107 per 100,000 for white women and 94 per 100,000 for black women. Thirty years later in 2005, the number of new cases per year had risen to 126 per 100,000 for white women and 114 per 100,000 for black women [13]. 

In the past 35 years, mortality (the rate of death) for white women has decreased. In 1975, 32 per 100,000 white women (including Hispanic women) died of breast cancer, but by 2005, that figure had dropped to 23 per 100,000. For black women (including Hispanic), though, mortality increased somewhat over the same period, rising from 30 per 100,000 black women in 1975 to 33 per 100,000 in 2005 [13]. (Figure 1.2 shows this trend).

I'M OFFICIAL

www.thesavvybrunette.com

I'm official, I finally registered my domain and directed it here to blogger! Please enjoy my website, I hope to give it a lot more attention then I have in the past! 

www.thesavvybrunette.com

Texting has changed how we interact

I have been thinking a lot about texting and just how frequently I do it. I looked at my last phone bill and realized that I text 4800+ times in just one month. That seemed like an astronomical amount, but then I logged into Twitter and I see someones Tweet that they tweet almost 400 times per day, YIKES. Anyhow, the amount of texting we all do is affecting our interactions with people. Both in good and bad ways.

Texting has been positive for me in the way that it keeps me in touch with people I otherwise would not talk to. I am not a big phone person so if I do not have a lot to say I avoid the phone conversation all together. The only time I really spend on the phone is with family or if I need an immediate response. When I'm on the phone I find myself very bored and busy doing other things. I text a lot of friends from college, or BBM them to stay in touch. Otherwise we wouldn't chat, other than the occasional Facebook comments on status updates.

Texting definitely has its downs because when you're friends with people its easy to get bored texting the same old short messages time after time. You don't ever really get into a deep conversation and there is just a disconnect. I remember when I was in high school and I was dating I would spend hours on the phone talking to that boy. Now I get bored after minutes. Maybe its because we are just so busy doing too many things we no longer have time to just slow down and build relationships with people.When someone texts when you're with them that is insanely rude. Cell phones are seriously addictive and people need to be connected. I am guilty of needing to be connected, but I can put the phone away when I'm with other people.

Maybe that is the bigger question, why are we too busy to have personal relationships with friends and significant others. I feel like so many people my age do not have a lot of quality relationships, its all acquaintances. Is it because we are too busy to meet people, or too busy to care about the lives of others?

Hi Everyone!!

 

Just wanted to say hello and play around with my video feature on my computer.
The secret is now out...yes, I am a total nerd haha!! 
I'm not gonna lie...a small reason I finally decided to do this was because I was having an awesome hair and makeup day haha!!

ENJOY!

Internet cheating...what are the rules?

When I was younger, about 21 years old, right after I graduated college I spent a lot of time in Columbus, Ohio staying with a friend of mine (thanks Jacci). I wanted to job hunt and really just party and enjoy life. I spent way more time partying and enjoy life then doing anything else. There were weeks where I would be partying every day.

Anyhow I definitely digress from the blog topic. While I was down there I met this guy online who seemed really cool and was from there so we had plans to hang out. We hung out and totally hit it off and clicked. He was a really cool guy and would come to my friends house where I was staying to bring me breakfast and just hang out. He would also come up to the bar where another friend of mine and I would get drinks. His schedule was flexible and he seemed to be around whenever I asked him to be. I really took a major interest in this guy...UNTIL...I found out he was married. Please keep in mind I did not know this for at least a few months into us hanging out. He completely kept it a secret from me, I was mortified. I had been spending a lot of time with this man and he just decided to spring it on me that he was married.

SO HERE IS THE REAL TOPIC: I don't think that people (men especially) consider relationships online or people they meet from online to be cheating. Men are out there creating second lives and believing them and dating like they are single. I've accidentally dated two married men in my life. Both kept their rings off and did not act like they had to be home at a certain time.What is the rule, is there one? Is internet dating taken us by storm so quickly and become so mainstream that we didn't have time to lay down the law about what was right and wrong? Married men who may have never cheated before, or maybe just looked at porn can now create a new "life" online and make new friends based on the person he is pretending to be.

I personally think if you're married or in a relationship then you need to be honest and need to be faithful. If you're not happy then its time to break it off. I don't care if you're married, this is what divorce is for. Give me a break, be a grown up and get a divorce if you want to go play around like a 20 something kid. Is it just me or is this happening a lot these days?

Adventures with Grandma in Chicago & Ohio family time!

Day 1- Saturday, July 17th
Picked grandma up at the train and headed on over to White Palace on Roosevelt/Canal. Yet another place that Shawn put me on to. They have really good breakfast. I love little diners. This one was on some TV show also. Forget the name of it, but that annoying guy that does the Fridays commercials is the host.We then came home and rested before going to the Shedd Aquarium. We valeted so we did not have to wait in the long line outside which had to have been about a 1-2 hour wait. We got in to the Will Call line and that was at least a 30 minute wait. I have heard so many great things about the Shedd so I had high expectations. We went in line and got our tickets and the lady apparently didn't understand English because she did not give me the right ticket so we were unable to get into the big show. All in all I am 100% disappointed in the Shedd. I'd never go back. There was nothing interesting to see and its overcrowded. It really made me dislike kids way more than I ever have before. Dislike their parents way way more because they let their little people run around like chickens with their heads off.

After the Shedd we went home to take a breather and just relax. Finally we decided to go to dinner, we tried Sushi Pink, I had a Restaurant.com certificate so I wanted to try it out. It was so so. I doubt I'll go back, there was nothing special about it. Subpar food and choices, I've had much better!! When we were down we headed to Navy Pier, I bought a Sunset Lake Cruise for us to check out the lake. So all was going well until we were driving at like 1mph going up 7 floors in the garage and all of a sudden my car decides overheating would be a good idea. The idiots at Car X (on Irving Park) not only do not fix what they say they do but they make things worse. My car has NEVER overheated until they FIXED the fan. Hmmm that isn't my definition of fixed. So whatever we finally park as the car pointer thing is on the red part so its hot and pissed off. We get to the elevator and IT IS BROKE. So down we go SEVEN flights of stairs. Mind you my grandma is in her early 70s so this was not a good idea at all. We finally got to go on the Sunset Lake Cruise and it was very nice.

Day 2- Sunday, July 18th
Sunday we decided to lay low it was about 99 with the humidity, and who wants to be in that crap. We went to brunch at Stanley's on Racine, not nearly as good as the one on Lincoln. I wouldn't go back to that Stanley's not for brunch anyhow. The weather decided to decline and poor down rain, while maintaining its hot hellish temps.

For dinner we went to Hot Chocolate. I have been here before just for dessert, which was really good.

Day 3- Monday, July 19th
After more car overheating issues my grandma and I took a quick trip to Car X to have them look it over. We stopped at Alps East which is a nice diner to have some breakfast and wait for the car to get looked at. Of course they didn't fix it then. Always drama at Car X. I no longer support them or recommend them at all!!

After car drama was over it was time for the fun to begin. We took a trip to the Skydeck. Keep in mind I'm super afraid of heights but I thought this was something that would be really fun! We went and even walked out onto the Ledge. Lots of fun!! After that we needed a phenomenal dinner so we went to La Scarola which is by far my favorite place to eat in the entire city. I love their Salmon and Risotto...best meal in the entire city!!

Day 4- Tuesday, July 20th
What an end to a great trip! We started with La Peep for breakfast. Very very hard to find parking but when we finally did breakfast was good. We then went back home to relax. Had some pizza for lunch and got everything and packed ready to go. So I called a cab and they didnt send one so I had to walk to the street and wait 10 minutes to grab one. We JUST made it to Amtrak with only 3 minutes till the train would have left without us. Very scary!!

OHIO TIME!
I then spent about 5 days home in Ohio with family and had a great time! Spent a lot of time with my mom and my sister Callie. It was great to see her and her new place. Did some shopping.

I also got to spend time with friends from BGSU who I had not seen since Homecoming 2004. YIKES!! I cannot believe I let it go that long. I am so disappointed in myself. We had such a great time hanging out and having LOTS of drinks downtown Cleveland!

Here is a picture of my friend Loren and Doria!!

I <3 BGSU FALCONS ALUMS!!

Men who choose not to be fathers

This is a follow up to my letter to my father (see previous blog). My father chose not to be a father, and my mom let him make that choice. I struggle with whether or not I think that is ok. Should a man have a choice as to whether or not he will be in his child's life? When a man and woman sleep together they are both equally making the decision to have sex (duh, I know). Most do not consider children in the process. Well when a girl ends up pregnant she ultimately can choose to keep the child or abort. A man at this point has no choice, his life is wavering while he waits for the girl to make a decision. He could choose to run for the hills, but then he is a bad guy in everyones eyes. I have always questioned if a guy should have an option. If a woman can ultimately choose whether or not to have an abortion when she finds out she is pregnant, she is deciding whether or not she wants to be a mom. Should a guy have a choice? Is the only answer that people just should not be having sex unless they are ready to be parents? That is beyond unrealistic, the world is not going to stop having sex because they fear pregnancy. So what is the answer? Does a guy deserve a choice?

Sometimes I think maybe he should have a choice, even in the situation I'm in, I still think that. What would ideally happen if he made the choice was that he would then be available to contact later on in life just so the child could know who he is. I know that once a man is in the child's life there are financial expectations, and maybe that is why some run, or maybe its because they just made a mistake or aren't ready. Who knows.

Also, on the other side, when a girl makes a choice to abort should a man have a say? Unfortunately he really does not. You cannot force a girl to carry a child for 9 months.

I'm really curious how other people feel about these situations...share your thoughts please!!

**Took the picture of some random website. Googled "father", so in no way is this man related to the post. He is a hottie though ;) wink wink!

Dear Dad

Dear Dad,

I know you do not know me. In fact you might not even know I exist. I know you were probably young and not ready to have me, but shit happens. I happened, and my mother kept me. I am 27 years old and every one of those years I have wondered about you. Did you ever wonder if I was alive? Did you ever wonder if my mother kept me? Sometimes I wonder what you are like. Sometimes I wonder if I have siblings. If I had siblings I do not know how I would feel about it. My sister is the only sibling I want and need. She's amazing and I love her. When I was younger I always held out hope that somehow you would find your way into my life. I have a step father, and he is a waste of space.

I have never once called someone dad in my life because I technically never had one. It is awkward to tell people that you do not know a parent, and then expect them to think you're still normal. When I think about it, not having a parent seems really traumatizing and just all out sad. I feel like I should have gotten an MTV reality show or something out of this lol. All I got was this t-shirt, just kidding! I always really wanted to be able to call someone dad. I will never have that opportunity.

Without you, I grew a whole mess of male issues. I trust the wrong men because I want acceptance. The only man I can truly say who has always been there for me and loved me unconditionally is my grandfather. He was the closest thing to a father that I'll ever have.  My grandfather was amazing, I think he knew that I needed a positive role model and he stepped up and was a friend. I need that. My grandparents took your place because you couldn't be a real man and step up when you found out.

I'm going to be 28 this year and it seems pretty surreal to think that I will never ever know who my father was. I wish I could say that by now it really just does not matter, but I do not think I will ever be able to say that. I know I will always wonder and I will always take it personally. I take rejection to heart because you taught me rejection before I was even born. I grew up with the sick need to do things perfectly or be too afraid to do them. They say that you are who you are because of what you have been through. I cannot say that not having a father did anything positive, its just given me issues I have had to deal with my entire life. The things I have been through that have effected me positively had nothing to do with your absence.

-Me

P.S. You totally missed out, I was like the cutest kid ever!

Enough said...

The top one is from @TheFifty50 and I love it, but I didn't get the full third panel so here is what it's suppose to look like!! I will most definitely get a shirt that has this on it like ASAP!!

Also, NO I am NOT an alcoholic I'm just TWENTY-SEVEN years old and FINALLY enjoying my life!!Effen Black Cherry + Tonic = <3 of my life. Jameson shot=WTF why?!

Is MTV encouraging teenage pregnancy?

What is up with this Teen Mom show on MTV? There is one girl on there that needs to get shaken. Her and her baby daddy cannot get along but she is a little devilish thing, always throwing fits in front of her poor little baby. Another young girl is living with the boy who is a total lazy bum and they have no business faking a relationship. He does not even act like a father.I hate watching this because it makes me sad BUT of course I'll continue to watch because I'm a true reality tv addict.

I am so torn on whether or not I like that MTV keeps doing all these teen pregnancy and parenting shows. On one hand it shows how tough it is to have a child and how much your social life is out the window, but it also shows these kids being bratty, disrespectful and getting by on government aid. I also really do not like that it shows grandparents taking care of the kids so much, it sends the message that kids can have babies and just play with them when they want.I wish they showed the success with the struggle, I feel bad for all these kids who drop out of school and just seem so unhappy.

There was one Teen Mom I was watching and this young couple got engaged, they are maybe 17. I just wish these poor kids would let themselves grow up so they wouldn't get stuck in time. Its like kids have to prove that they are grown up so they have to do adult things. The best advice my mom EVER gave me was to not do everything when you're young because you won't have anything left to enjoy when you're older. I took that to heart and was a good kid who took my time enjoying life.

My mom had me right after she turned 20 and I remember being with my grandparents for a large part of my childhood so my mom could work. I respect the hard work she did but I remember she still went out and lived her life and dated. I felt secondary to her and primary to my grandparents a lot of the time.I get what these kids will grow up feeling like and honestly I don't agree with it. A bond is formed with a child at a young age and if the parents aren't grown up enough to make the bond they may never be able to get it back.

Nycole's Baked Mac & Cheese

I've decided it is about time that I get my cooking game up so eventually I can get married and not be a Peggy Bundy! I absolutely love baked mac and cheese so I watched you tube videos all day and none of the recipes completely grabbed me so I just took pieces from like 5 different ones and I did this on my own. It was really good. Next time I'd for sure use just a tad less sharp cheddar just cause its not my fave. I'd use another white cheese.
Here's how I did it! Please let me know if you try it. I'd love to know how it turns out!! Good Luck! 





INGREDIENTS

• 3 tbsp butter
• 3 tbsp flour
• 2 cups milk 
• 1 tbsp salt (put a little more when I was tasting)
• 2 eggs
• a little garlic 
• TONS OF CHEESE lol (like 3-4 bags of your choice of cheese) 
• 2 cups of cooked elbow noodles

DIRECTIONS

1. Make a rue (the base to make the cheese sause work). Put your butter and flour together, over medium heat on the stove. Mix them up and get the butter all melted. 
2. Add your milk. Then mix the milk and the rue until the rue is no longer chunky.
3. Add 1 tbsp salt
4. Add about 3-4 bags of shredded cheese (my preference is to have some cheddar, some italian, montery jack, and just having fun trying something different each time). Stir cheese in at medium heat so it doesn't melt too quickly. You want a nice thick sauce. IMPORTANT LEAVE SOME CHEESE FOR A TOP LAYER (you can use a 5th bag).
5. Add 2 eggs. Keep stirring everything together this will make it nice and thick so you'll have more of a casserole dish them a creamy dish.
6. Taste the mix and add garlic and salt to your liking. I know garlic is not a norm, but I love it in this dish.
7. Put your cooked noodles in your casserole dish and then poor the cheese mix on top. Mix everything together. Put a layer of cheese on top and you're all good to go!!  
8. Cook at 350 for about 35 minutes :) (check throughout you want a little brown but not burnt)

This is super cheesy and in no way a health food dish. I wouldn't recommend this too often or your poor little arteries will cry! Best thing about this is that it still tastes good for a few days of leftovers! 

Quick update: I'm on day 4 of eating it and I'm still loving it :) Today is the last day though lol!!

I'm lucky to have my family

Quite often I'm reminded of how amazing my family is because their support for me never ceases when I need it. For example today my grandma paid for a car repair that I needed. I of course will pay her back but how awesome is that that she was there for me all the way in Ohio. My grandmother is an amazing person and I do not know what I would do without her. In fact I think I wouldn't be a whole person anymore. She knows more about me than anyone else and she supports everything I do and loves me unconditionally. I am very excited my grandmother will be coming to Chicago not this Saturday but next and we'll do all sorts of fun Chicago stuff. I'm praying that it's not a bazillion degrees like it is right now!! I cannot stand the hot weather and I do not want my grandma to have to deal with it. No rain either. One year it rained so much when she visited that her train was delayed a day which was fun cause we had another day to hang. What's really cool about this year is that she's visiting for a few days and then we are going back to Ohio together to see her sister and my great aunt Ruth Anne. I have some fun stuff planned for us while she's here. I love showing her a good time and not letting her pay for anything. My grandma is truly amazing and I respect and admire her so much.

My grandfather is really cool, he's the ZZ Tops looking guy in the blue hawaiian type shirt. He took me to so many major concerts in my life and exposed me to a lot of great artists and opened my mind to seeing things in life differently. Man we saw Tom Petty, Aerosmith (twice), Rolling Stones, Bush, Ozzfest, Smoking Grooves Tour (twice), Alanis Morisette, wow I could go on forever. The first concert we saw was Willie Nelson at the Lorain County Fair. We even waited till after and like climbed a fence to meet him and get his autograph. I have his autograph somewhere on a red bandana. Seriously my grandpa is so cool!! He rocks at Jeopardy, has to be the smartest person I know. He knows so much stuff its really cool. When I was little I'd go to Lorenzo's this pizza place in Oberlin, OH with my grandparents and my grandpa and I would play the jukebox and play name that tune. I use to always play Bad to the Bone, I was religious with that song...loved it. Oh speaking of which I use to sing it into my little playstation tape recorder. I hope someone finds those and plays them at my wedding haha. I'd be embarrassed but come on I was a junior rock star, inside I'd be proud!! I look forward to seeing my grandpa in a few weeks.

My mother who is the lovely lady with my sister in the picture, you know the lady with the large hair situation. My mother is half black so she has always had this larger than life hair situation. I mean if she likes it I love it...and by love it I mean my sister and I love to tease her about it. My mother and I have been through it all, we've done more than our fair share of fighting and not talking to each other. We are both stubborn and it doesn't match well. Honestly I will always have a tough time because she will not tell me who my father is. I have always resented that about her a bit even though I hate to admit it and I hate to hold that in. I love my mom of course but will always have hurt. I look forward to seeing her in a few weeks and hanging out. When my mom, sister and I get together we are a bunch of hilarious assholes. We are always joking and laughing and have a great time. My family makes me laugh and keeps me sane while at times making me insane.

My sister, who just turned 19 (which means I'm old) is awesome. I think she's the coolest kid (which she no longer is) and have always admired her talents and strength. We have different fathers and neither of us like her father, total waste of space.She is now living with her boyfriend, so very mature, I'm not even there yet lol!! She finished massage therapy school and works pt. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that she passes her test and can start her massage therapy career, so proud of her!! I am super siked to see her when I go home. When we get together its a total force to be reckoned with, we are assholes. We have a plan to go to Walmart and find people to submit to that wonderful Walmart site.

Ok that was a serious family rant, but they are great. That is why I got my last tattoo it signifies the importance of each of these individuals. My leg looks all weird in the pic but I absolutely LOVE this tattoo. It feels very Angelina Jolie bad ass to me ;)

XI XXI- My bday

VII II- Callie's bday

X VI- Moms bday

VIII XXII- Grandmas bday
IX XX- Grandpas bday