Thursday, September 16, 2010

Internet cheating...what are the rules?

When I was younger, about 21 years old, right after I graduated college I spent a lot of time in Columbus, Ohio staying with a friend of mine (thanks Jacci). I wanted to job hunt and really just party and enjoy life. I spent way more time partying and enjoy life then doing anything else. There were weeks where I would be partying every day.

Anyhow I definitely digress from the blog topic. While I was down there I met this guy online who seemed really cool and was from there so we had plans to hang out. We hung out and totally hit it off and clicked. He was a really cool guy and would come to my friends house where I was staying to bring me breakfast and just hang out. He would also come up to the bar where another friend of mine and I would get drinks. His schedule was flexible and he seemed to be around whenever I asked him to be. I really took a major interest in this guy...UNTIL...I found out he was married. Please keep in mind I did not know this for at least a few months into us hanging out. He completely kept it a secret from me, I was mortified. I had been spending a lot of time with this man and he just decided to spring it on me that he was married.

SO HERE IS THE REAL TOPIC: I don't think that people (men especially) consider relationships online or people they meet from online to be cheating. Men are out there creating second lives and believing them and dating like they are single. I've accidentally dated two married men in my life. Both kept their rings off and did not act like they had to be home at a certain time.What is the rule, is there one? Is internet dating taken us by storm so quickly and become so mainstream that we didn't have time to lay down the law about what was right and wrong? Married men who may have never cheated before, or maybe just looked at porn can now create a new "life" online and make new friends based on the person he is pretending to be.

I personally think if you're married or in a relationship then you need to be honest and need to be faithful. If you're not happy then its time to break it off. I don't care if you're married, this is what divorce is for. Give me a break, be a grown up and get a divorce if you want to go play around like a 20 something kid. Is it just me or is this happening a lot these days?
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Literate Barfly said...

First, a minor thing.

I'll let you in on a secret: all men look at porn. ALL MEN. Some more often than others, but all do.

Sixty years ago, Alfred Kinsey quipped that 90% of men masturbated and the other 10% were liars. Well, the same holds true with porn.

On your major point, the guys leading double lives are 100% aware of what they're doing. In fact, that is part of the thrill for them. They like the feeling of being able to get over on women.

The ultimate thrill for guys like that is to string a woman along for a while, finally admit the truth, and have her stay around anyway. That signals that she has zero self-esteem, and that gives them a tremendous rush of power. They figure there's nothing she won't put up with, that they can get away with damned near anything.

Guys like that are vermin. Stay the hell away from them.

Unknown said...

I have no problem with men looking at porn.

I definitely agree that they like to control a woman who just goes along with knowing they are a cheater and still acts like nothing is different. I wouldn't do that though. I think once someones dirty laundry is aired its time to run for the hills.

Maximosis said...

I completely agree with you however you would be surprised to discover that it is not only MEN who are doing this it is all people. Women,children the elderly everybody. The internet provides a cloak of anonymity that allows you to pretend you are someone you are not and have these imaginary relationships where although one person may take it very seriously. The other person is having a blast on the other end exchanging photos. The way I see it is Internet and real life are not much different. Liars exist in both you just have to weed out the junk and be careful.

Unknown said...

Spike you're completely right. Thanks for stopping by!

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