Friends...having great ones or a lot of them?

When my birthday came knocking I became kind of emotional. Not even because I was turning 29 (I don't look it so it doesn't stress me out) but because I thought I hadn't made enough friends in my "old age". When it came time to create the invite list for dinner it was pretty short. Up until a good friend gave me a good mental shaking I was really sad and started to think that maybe I had made a mistake by not taking the time to make more friends over the years. I realized when my friend gave me the "mental shake" that it was so much more important to have a handful of friends you could truly count on then have a huge group of friends to that could just fill a table at a birthday party but would never be there if you needed them.

I see people with large groups of friends but really how many of those people can you count on to help you through anything. Those are the people that count. The rest are just filler. I think it's important to always continue to make great quality friends but my being emotional about it really wasn't necessary I realized. So many more things to stress about in life. I chose to not talk to people from high school because frankly I have nothing in common with them and it just does not really interest me in the least. I keep contact with my closest college friends.

Sometimes it takes a bit of an irrational moment to really wake us up and help us see what really matters. I should know...I have my fair share of irrational moments but I believe in learning from my mistakes and being honest with myself no matter how hard it is to get to the point where you can learn.

Almost 29...time to reflect on this past year

I am almost TWENTY-NINE years old! I created a 28 things to do while I am 28 list and I want to reflect on those things and see what I can improve upon for 29! 28 was not a great year for me but I want to brush it to the side and take on the world at 29. Making notes next to my old list will really help me be accountable for knowing what I want and not going for it. 

28 THINGS TO DO WHILE I AM 28

1. GET IN SHAPE…shed some extra lbs. I actually dropped 15 lbs in the span of this year. I need to get back to the gym though so I don't pack them back on! 
2. Enjoy life…figure out what my “happiness” is and how to start traveling towards it. Still haven't figured this out but I am working on it :) 
3. Date a better quality of men. No more D-bags for age 28!! Ah....lets just say I hit rock bottom with this so yet again another year to look forward to it being better. 
4. Visit my family in Ohio more. A few measly times a year is not acceptable!! I didn't have a lot of chances to go home but I did make a surprise visit to see my brand new nephew.
5. Make some new friends! I definitely did that this year and am looking forward to making many more.
6. Travel to Miami to see my bestie Devon. I didn't get to do that this year nor did I get to see NYC #7.
7. Travel to NYC to see my good friend Nicole and just see NYC for the first time
8. Start a new career path, one that will be the one I was meant to travel one. I DID IT!! I made it into the internet industry in sales. Finally #8 I can check you off. I truly hope that this opportunity really launches a better me and a better future.
9. Get over my fear of flying, or at least make an attempt and get on a plane. Another one that I did. I took a trip to NC for work! This was perfect because I couldn't even think twice about flying. I had to do it!
10.  Get a new car!! Vroom Vroom. Not even close to this....but my old girl is hanging in there. 
11. Waste less time online tweeting & facebooking. I realized social media isn't a waste at all and the time I spend online doing it is very valuable. I met a lot of great business people and friends!! Social media rocks and I'm going to continue to stalk it ;)
12. Blog more (not a waste of online time). I unfortunately was so bad at that this past year but I want to get better. I want to have guest bloggers and more followers. I love hearing feedback. 
13. Volunteer for a nonprofit that I actually care for. Still have somewhat of a bad taste in my mouth from nonprofit and the complete disgracefulness that I have seen behind doors. I'm going to continue to take a break for now and just work on me as a person. 
14. Look into becoming a mentor to kids. On the To Do list of the future. Becoming a better me first can only benefit everyone in the future. 
15.  Get a new tattoo or two. “Just Breathe” first' Not yet but it will happen. Refer back to #1...gotta get my ass in shape first lol. 
16. Drink a lot less pop, like 75% less than what I drink now. This has been tough. My pop drinking is at an all time high right now but now that I'm looking at this I'm going to put the pressure on myself 
17. CHILL OUT...stop stressing about everything. Life will work out. Hahaha....will I ever do this? It's just my nature. 
18. Convince my roommate to sign a 2nd year lease in our townhome :) Aww...he did but then he had to leave for work. Miss him! 
19. Find some hobbies that get me out and enjoying life. Spent some more quality time with friends just having good conversation.
20. Go to more festivals and Chicago activities. I think I did that this past year. Got out to some unique events this year. 
21. Wear a dress. Ok this sounds weird but I have been wearing one a year and it was for a gala I did, and now that I'm no longer involved I need to really push myself to do this.  Haha not gonna happen once during age 28.
22. Let my family and friends know how much they mean to me. I really hope they know this but I do tell them frequently. I even like to tell them on FB sometimes to embarrass them lol. 
23. Take more pictures to remember the great memories with those I care about. Still need to do more of that. 
24. Go to a Michigan Wolverines football game. I didn't get to do that but I have truly enjoyed a kick ass season!
25. Stop shaving and start getting waxed..I know TMI, but hey it's MY list :) Need to switch over 100%.
26. Add a few colors other than black into my wardrobe. Color has entered my wardrobe lol. There will be more to come but I just love black I can't help it. 
27. Stop having so many phobias and face my fears and overcome them. I'm still a wuss...this will go on my next list lol.
28. Vote for Rahm Emanuel to be the next Mayor of Chicago!! I DID!! He won!!

Items in blue are completed.

Items in red were not done but lets not give up!

29 THINGS TO DO WHILE 29....coming soon!

One week ago we met...and it's been love ever since ;)

Don't get too excited...I'm talking about my new iPhone 4s. Don't judge me ;) I definitely am loving my new phone. I thought I would have the shakes after parting ways with my Blackberry but I can't think of one reason why I'd want to go back to Blackberry. Not just that but I went back to Verizon after 7 years and I'm happy to say all is well on that end. T-Mobile was an absolute nightmare. I won't say Verizon is perfect...it's been a week but so far so good!!

FAVORITE APPS SO FAR: 
Facebook
Twitter
Foursquare
Google Maps
Blogger
Instagram- such an awesome ap for pictures.
The Weather Channel
Flashlight
My Verizon
iMailG (for my work email)
RedEye
HuffPost
Chicago Trib
LinkedIn
GrubHub
Yelp
Groupon
SportsCenter

APPS I DOWNLOADED TODAY TO CHECK OUT:
WhosHere
My Disk
PhotoFunia
Flixlab
Backgrounds
ColorSplash
Big Button
Pic Frame
postagram
Photogram

Are you an iPhone user? What am I missing?!

29...wow

Wow 29 is creeping closer, it's about a month away. My birthday that is. I can't say that I am ready for it. This morning I spent some serious time thinking about whether or not I was going to celebrate it. My hesitation was that yet another year older and not closer to what I really want in life. I decided that it's much better to look at it as an end to a rough year, and a new year where I have unlimited opportunity. Sometimes I think birthdays are much better starts than New Years. The older I get the more I realize I don't know whats next. I cannot control things as much as I thought I would be able to. I think I need to stop putting so much pressure on myself because I don't have the power to wiggle my nose and make things happen. Maybe age at 29 I will finally give myself a break and maybe taking a step back and a deep breath will help me get to where I need to be this year....where ever that may be.

The Fear of What's Next...

The fear of what comes next has always been a big one for me, especially when I cannot plan it ahead of time. I have spent too much time in life trying to super plan every step of my life when I think I need to just take a step back and find the right opportunity. It may not fit into the plan that I already have but quite frankly that plan is as flawed as they come. I thought long and hard about what was most important. Before it was living in Chicago and finding an opportunity here. I think I was looking at things wrong. The best opportunity needs to come first. I think I may have to be ready to take a risk and maybe even make a move to really find success.

I have a fear of what will happen next and where will it take me. I know I have to stop living so close to safety though. Moving across the United States may be what it takes. I may be that woman climbs to the top of the most amazing companies, but that for sure is not going to come to me. I have to work hard to go to it and find it. The idea of moving absolutely frightens me especially because I do not know many people in other main cities. I just want what is best for myself and my family. I want to see them more and regardless of distance, I have to be able to afford the trips. I do not want to be paying Sallie Mae off for the rest of my life. I want to pay Sallie Mae off while I can still enjoy life. I want to buy a new car. These are all things I cannot do when I jump from small opportunity to small opportunity, time for something great. Age 29 is quickly approaching, its time to really take the wheel back and control my life and not cruise through. Wish me luck :)

Should parents be friends with their kids on Facebook?

I was just watching the news and a clip of a press conference came up of an angry mother who was telling everyone that if you child has nothing to hide then they should let you be their Facebook friend. This made me thinking, do kids really have to "friend" their parents on Facebook. Isn't Facebook sort of the modern day diary? I'm 28 so there was no Facebook when I was younger, I had diaries. So isn't friending your parent like handing them a pass to see your diary? I think it is. You're not necessarily going to put your deepest darkest secrets on Facebook, but kids surely get close enough. When I was working at a school I would see kids pages that had pictures of them drinking and much more that would completely frighten me if I was a parent. I think kids are doing way more than they should and their parents should do better policing of them but I do not know if being their Facebook friend is really going to make a difference. I see it from both sides. Parents should absolutely want to know what is going on in their kids lives but I think this is where they need to do better parenting and help their children trust them so that they can talk to them. Don't scare your kids so much that they won't talk to you and don't be their best friends so that they do not fear you. Bottomline is that Facebook is not the answer and it won't give you all the answers that you need.

College athletes should not be paid

Everytime someone brings this up, I admit I am a tad disgusted. College athletes are paid. They get free room, board, food. They don't really have bills during college. A free degree isn't payment enough? I know my degree cost me over $60,000 and by the time I pay it off it will have been doubled so about $125,000. So that isn't worth it to them? It's complete bullshit. Not only that but if you think of college sports like a regular business, most regular businesses make a ton of money off of their hardest working employees who don't make nearly enough. So guess what....welcome to the real world. You get a free degree for all your hard work. That is the trade off. You do not deserve to get paid. People have been working for way less than their worth since working began, it is basically just how life is. I don't know why this is so shocking or such relevant now a days. I agree that it should be punished and not considered.

Lesley Ryder of the Huffington Post made a great point, "Depending on the school, a full scholarship can be worth upwards of $200,000. A free degree (especially from a prestigious university) in this economic climate is a godsend. It's hardly slave labor." [article found here:http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lesley-ryder/pay-college-athletes-_b_968479.html ]

I really want to know everyone's thoughts on this though. Please share!

Kindness to a stranger

Have you ever considered how a moment of your time and your kindness could mean the world to someone. I never really thought about it on this level before but it's true. You never know when your kindness could help someone desperately in need of perspective and a few positive words. A few words could snap someone out of a negative state and bring them back down to reality.

One day, on the train I was watching the most touching interaction between an older man and a young man. The older man had just gotten off of work and looked so tired. The younger man looked like he just got off a plane with his luggage and he looked down. The older man struck up a conversation with the young man and it led the young man to saying that he had screwed up. His demeanor was even sadder than before. It was like he just revealed a huge secret to this man. The older man told him to hang in there and things get better. He told him that we live in a microwave society and all of the young people want what they want right now. He tried to explain to the young man that life did not always deliver immediate results. I started to see the younger man straighten up his stance and look a little more freed of his stress and frustration.

When the young man got off the train I took his spot standing by the door and I told the older man that what he did was great. The fact that he took his time to share his wisdom really helped that young man out. I also told him that I loved the term microwave society. It is one of the truest things I have ever heard. We all do want what we want immediately. I am very guilty of living a life with little patience. The man and I continued to talk until I got to my stop. He was very genuine and kind. Society is missing that easy, yet very genuine conversation that strangers have when waiting patiently to get somewhere. We no longer wait anywhere patiently and we do not give strangers the time of day.

When I was in my early 20s I would always say hi to passing people and smile to give off warmth and not have such a cold self-involved demeanor. Now that I am in my late 20s I realized not too long ago that I completely stopped doing that years ago. I stopped without giving it a though, probably because most hellos were not returned. But why should that matter if they are returned, who cares. If you make one person smile because you are being nice for no good reason than it is totally worth it. A good friend of mine is great at saying hello to everyone and spreading her positive attitude by simply acknowledging people and saying hi.

Challenge yourself to say hi to at least five people that you don't know everyday. You don't have to go home with them or anything but say hi in passing. See if they say hi back. If they do, you might be surprised at how refreshing it feels to share a positive moment with someone. Even if you may never see them again. We as a society need to regain perspective, we do not have to do everything to get something in return for it. And if you do, think of the return being making someones day.

Oh and by the way....HI!!

New found respect for Khloe K.

Khloe always seems to get the flack because she's the Kardashian the stands out and isn't perfect like the other girls. I love her business savvy and her heart. Also, she will do and say anything. I wish I had that capability...I'm a total wuss lol.

The one thing that bugs me about all the gossip news is when they talk so poorly about this girl, Khloe is not big or fat. Give me a break people. This is why normal women have so many self-esteem issues. If a girl whose like a size 4 or whatever is fat then what are the real women suppose to do with ourselves. Ouch.

The fact that her mother, Kris, is giving her flack about her weight is horrible. I felt so sorry for Khloe when she broke down and just started crying because she isn't happy with herself. I couldn't imagine what it's like in the spotlight and also having perfect sisters. I felt so bad that she was sad.

Also, I heart Lamar. Their reality show has made me love them as a couple. I think my favorite part of the season was when he farted and said that was like dusting I almost spit out my drink. He seems like the biggest dork which is so much fun.

Ahh...I've been neglecting my blog...

Ok seriously...the image I choose is so random how could I not pick it ha!

I have spent way too much time away from my blog. I miss it! I have had so much on my mind I haven't been able to focus my energies on it. No more neglecting though hopefully.

So the last few months as everyone knows I was unemployed...and by FEW I mean EIGHT!! Yes, eight whole months. It was pretty crazy but I made it through, thanks to supportive family and friends. I had some great friends that got me out of the house and didn't let me wallow or think about it too much. I do have to say I miss sleeping in but that's about it. I also am not loving public transportation again but I guess that's just part of life.

So as I started to elude to...I GOT A JOB. Finally!! After my job was eliminated in nonprofit it was the perfect time to really take a look at what I wanted in life. I had grown and climbed the nonprofit ladder until I landed myself into a vice president role. It was not fulfilling to me though and financially I never would have had an opportunity to enjoy life and travel or do anything truly extra. I'd be climbing slowly out of college debt forever if I stayed in nonprofit. So with my job ending I took some time to really think hard about what I wanted. I looked at my friends job and career which I had always admired and really wondered...why can't that be me. Well guess what it can be eventually. So I set out to find a job in the .com industry in sales. Not only did I do that but I did it with the fastest growing internet company EVER. Very cool. I'm sure I'll be sharing a lot of stories about my new company. At this time I've had one week of training and all is good. I have a base salary + commission which is totally new to me. I'm excited to take on the challenge of making commission and really performance based money! I've always performed very high but never ever been rewarded for it financially.

Stay turned for more .com work stories!!

Life in prison for murderer of Gayle's girlfriend

Not too long ago I watched the 20/20 episode with Shaun Gayle (Former Chicago Bears player); the Rhoni Rueter story. This was a really sad story because not only was a woman gunned down by her boyfriends crazy lover; but she was pregnant and the baby died as well. Just this week they sentenced the murderer; Marni Yang to two life sentences back to back with no chance of parole. When someone commits such a calculated heinous crime it's almost relieving to hear that justice took such a major stance and really did away with such a horrible human being. 

Chicago Breaking News: Life in prison for murder of Gayle's girlfriend

Marni Yang was sentenced to life in prison this morning for gunning down the pregnant girlfriend of former Chicago Bear Shaun Gayle, with the judge citing the “methodical, meticulous and maniacal manner in which you committed this crime.”

Judge Christopher Stride handed down two life sentences with no parole, to run concurrently, for the death of Rhoni Reuter and her unborn child in Reuter’s Deerfield condominium on Oct. 4, 2007.

Yang showed no reaction, sitting almost motionless.

I remember when I was watching this story on 20/20 I couldn't help but think how crazy the entire situation was. Shaun Gayle and Rhoni were together for 18 years and they never married. In those 18 years her family said they only met him four times, which just shows how much of a real couple they were. Shaun says the couple had an understanding that they were in an open relationship. I immediately felt sad and confused, wondering how a woman could be in a noncommittal relationship with a man for 18 years and then want to carry his child in her 40s. I felt sorry for her, because Gayle seemed like a total womanizer but on the flip side she let him be. 

When it first happened, Gayle was a suspect in this case not just to the police but to the Reuter family. Gayle immediately offered up several of his ex girlfriends names who hadn't taken it well over the years when he'd broken it off. Throughout his entire thought process not once did he think to mention Marni Yang, the crazy woman behind the plotted murders. When watching the show I couldn't tell if Gayle just like crazy women or if he was really screwing with women's heads to make them fall off the deep end. I think he was a total womanizer. I'm pretty disgusted at Shaun Gayle for sleeping with so many women and equally disgusted at the women for being ok with it. It seems like most of them knew.

Three weeks after the murder the searched Gayle's house and found that Marni Yang had been stalking Shaun's computer for 3 years by recording everything he did on the computer. The tool she used is often used by parents who want to keep track of what their children are doing. I've often wondered if I'd ever do this to a spouse just to see what type of person they were, or even better before they were a spouse. Yang saw every single email and everything Gayle did online. Not just that but Yang would get Gayle's phone bills and call all of the numbers on there. If that sounds crazy, that is only the tip of the iceberg; Yang would cancel flight and hotel reservations so he couldn't go visit other women.

Marni was telling all of her friends that her and Shaun were together in a relationship, which was not true considering he clearly didn't know what a relationship was. He did admit that they had slept together on several occasions. Once I heard this I was convinced that was leading all of these women on to think there was or could be more. Gayle seems like the scum of the earth, time to hang up your player towel....you're almost 50 years old. Eventually it came out that not only did Gayle sleep with Yang but he slept with her the NIGHT before the murder. Disgusting.

Yang was beyond crazy; she planned the murder and sat waiting on Rueter to leave for work. They say that Yang started to plan the murder the moment that she found out the Rueter was pregnant. There was nothing spur of the moment about this. Yang had all the tools she had purchased at a Home Depot and a disguise she had purchased at a local store. Originally some neighbors reported seeing a young black male fleeing the scene, when in actuality it was Yang in dark face paint and a disguise. Without the help of Yang's friend, I don't know if she would have ever been caught because she had it so planned out. The police had Yang's friend go to a meeting wired and Yang spilled all the details. So here is one of my problems; her friend knew Yang was planning this before it happened yet she's not in trouble. Whether or not she thought her friend was just talking out of anger she should have turned her in. This whole story was one of those twisted disgusting stories you hear that just doesn't sound real. From Gayle being a ladies man and sleeping with god knows how many women and then putting his child in danger, to the psycho woman who thought she was in a relationship and planned the murder of a woman and her unborn child.

If today really was the end...what would I do with it?

So every nutty person in the world thought today at 6pm that the world might end. No one knew 6pm what time zone, but to crazies apparently time zones don't matter. Anyhow, it did make me think what would I want to do if I only had a day left. Answer to that would be to go home and spend it with my family. Call all my friends who are important to me and let them know what they meant to me and then just spend it with my family. They are the ones that mean the most to me and I'd want them to be the last people I saw. Oh...I'd also probably eat a ton of food that's horrible for me that I love since I've been eating so healthy lately lol.

What would you do?

BGSU in the lead to host Tosh.0 w/ HILARIOUS video!

I hope BGSU wins. This video is great. Miss my old school....always an alumna though :) Go Falcons!!

Do people really want their ex's to be happy?

I'm pretty sure if you asked a room full of men and women this question you'd probably get responses split down the middle. Personally I think everyone deserves happiness in their lives, even my ex's. I think they deserve to find happiness, even though for one reason or another they didn't end up making me happy. The thing is our ex's move on from our lives to make room for us to find the right one. I truly believe people enter our lives for a reason, sometimes it's to help us learn and sometimes its to cause hurt so we can become stronger. Either way, each relationship is a lesson to be learned if we pay close attention.

Maybe the bigger question should be whether or not we would be happy for an ex if they moved on and became happy. There is a major difference between being happy for someone and wanting them to be happy. I absolutely want my ex's to be happy but there will always be that part of me that thinks of all the mistakes they made that made me cry so why would I want to be happy for them. In the end I want my ex's to find happiness and because they are a part of my past I usually don't involve myself with their present. I can't say that I keep any of my ex's around as close friends because I realized it's better to learn and grow then learn and stay in the same place. Everything about my life is all about moving on and being better with each step. I don't really keep much of the past in the present for that reason. I don't really know how to respect people who spent energy lying to me. I don't think it's worthwhile. I have friends who keep close relationships with ex's and I absolutely don't understand. In fact I think it makes them look like the victim sometimes, like someone got the best of them. Maybe that's really what it is. I won't let someone make a fool of me or make me feel like hell and then give them the opportunity to be a friend. With all that said I do want everyone to find their own happiness, we all deserve it.

The Versatile Blogger Award

One of my favorite bloggers and Twitter pals, Stephanie from The Single Slant has given me this wonderful honor :) I started my blog to just vent and ramble, so I always get a kick out of knowing that people actually like and read my blog. It's very appreciated...and surprising lol. 

About Me (crud...this is always hard): 

1) My senior year in high school I attended college full-time instead of going to high school. It's a program they have in Ohio for students excelling in HS who have at least a 3.5 GPA. It was a year of college fully paid for and I got to hang out with college kids and not boring high schoolers lol. Loved it! I also got all my books for free and when it was time to sell them back I actually made money back. 

2) In 2010, I was honored with the Chicago Archdiocesan Impact Award; an award given to only one person in the entire Chicago area who makes a significant impact to their organization. My job was than eliminated at the end of 2010...I think this is what Alanis Morissette meant when she said "Isn't it Ironic?". 

3) I'm kind of a nerd. I love the internet and the fact that it's ever changing. The fact that Facebook changes weekly doesn't annoy or frustrate me it interest and excites me because there are so many options in the digital world. This is why I want to make the switch to this industry.

4) I'm addicted, like truly need a meeting level addicted, to my Blackberry. I like being connected with social media especially twitter. It's back to #3 and that whole nerd thing. I just love that I can be so connected to people all over. 

5) I don't want to ever carry a child. Whenever I talk with someone about this they say "you'll change your mind" or they think I'm crazy. There is something so natural to women to make them want this, and something so unappealing to me to make me not want this at all. I want to live my life and get married and be selfish with my husband. I think most people have kids because they think they should not even because they want to. I want to be able to do something spontaneously without needing a sitter. I think me being honest about it is so much better than knowing I'll go along with it for someone else.

6) I'm currently going through the toughest time in my life but I am choosing to stay as positive as possible. I have been unemployed for more than 7 months which is no joy, although sleeping in is amazing. Sometimes we have to suffer the bumps to really appreciate the victories to come and I think that is what's going on with me right now. It also helped me realize I really want to follow my dreams career wise. 

7) Wow I got pretty heavy on a few of those...time to be light. I'm a total goofball. I love making people laugh and often times I laugh at myself even when no one else is (it's not my fault they don't get real quality humor).

I always find it so hard to choose my favorite bloggers because there are so many talented bloggers out there. One of which gave me The Versatile Blogger Award, so I think that means I can't officially pick Stephanie even though I love her blog The Single Slant (make sure to check her out). I read blogs everyday but I've chosen a few that I always enjoy

My Picks:  

The Fashion Bomb Daily has some really great and very unique fashion. I love getting ideas from this site. 

Terez Owens dishes up "Real Sports, Real Dirt"...I love sports but what I love even more...DIRT! G

Major Must Haves This girl has the absolute cutest style. I don't think she's worn an outfit that I don't want. I love blogs like this!!

NBA By A  is such a great NBA blog, Allana knows her stuff! I love girls and sports blogs!! 

Mrs. Windy City Unplugged  is a great Chicago site for fashion and info on what's going on in the city and the writer Brandi is a really cool girl!

Reminders for my unborn daughter is such a touching blog written by a new friend and sister separated at birth Nhycol. Us "Nicole's" get creative with our spelling!! 

Kattastic Ramblings I love this blog because it kind of reminds me of my own. Katrina has a lot of opinions and isn't afraid to share them!! 

Take the time to check out all of these wonderful blogs!! You won't be sorry :) 

Favorite song of the moment! Olivia- December

I think Olivia is so talented. I really love her voice and this is a great song. I enjoy watching her on Love & Hip Hop. She seems like a really talented driven young woman. The guy in this video is crazy hot. He's got my weaknesses...tattoos and muscles. Definitely worth a watch!!

BTW I absolutely love Love & Hip Hop. I like Olivia and Chrissy, who is Jim Jones girlfriend, and maybe after the last episode his fiancé. We shall see. I'm not a fan of Somaya or Emily B, both of them are trying so hard and pretending to be something they're not. Somaya is a wannabe rapper with little to no talent, she does have a hot boyfriend though. Emily B is the baby mama of Fabolous and he doesn't claim their 8 year long relationship yet she swears by it. I just can't stand the lack of reality by the two of those women.

Snap out of it...

Since this whole unemployment thing begun I can honestly say I have been in the weirdest head space. I'm happy yet overly stressed. The stress comes from lack of money and the happiness comes from the weight lifted that now I can find a job that could make me happy.

The thing with unemployment is that it's not easy OR excited. It's the same ole thing every single day. I'm not good at living the same life every single day in a Groundhogs Day style manor. The thing that has suffered the worse is my gym habit. I just haven't been in the mood to go at all lately, when in fact that is probably something that would really help the most. I plan to give myself a significant kick in the ass to get me back in the gym ASAP. My good eating habits are still pretty much going strong except I definitely cheat sometimes and that just makes me feel like I've wiped all the good away.

One of the hardest things, outside of going to the gym, is job searching every day. I'd equate it to working in an assembly line. Each day I wake up and go through all the tagged websites and apply to new jobs. I hear back from about 1% of them. So far I have had several interviews but I'm finding that a lot of these jobs are totally taking advantage of the unemployed. They want to pay absolutely unacceptable rates. I'd be better off to stay on unemployment at that rate. Which is what I am doing. I am very confident that the right thing is going to come along a lot sooner than later. I'm getting more interviews and more bites lately. Hoping for the best and avoiding the worst!

Unemployment is no joke

Wow so it has been FIVE months since I have had a job. I am not gonna lie this is the hardest time in my life. I have been unemployed before but this is huge because my loans have to be paid. No deferment or forbearance left to use. I have bills and expenses that do not understand or take a break for my unemployment.

I have said this before, my job being eliminated from the school was a good thing. Sounds weird, but it really was. I was miserable under the new management, because they were purposely trying to drive people out. Constant 8-5 negativity believe it or not is still worse than unemployment. It also gave me the push I need to figure out what I really want to do professionally and take the huge leap. Problem is that that leap is not easy nor is it definite. I cannot just jump into this new industry and say hire me. Believe me, I have been trying for the past several months. I have given it the most effort the past two to three months but still that is way too long to not be getting positive results. I have had a few interviews. Some of which just were not right for me or not enough money.

I am dying to break into the digital technology and media industry but it is so damn hard. I do not know how to kick a door open and get my foot into the right place. I am putting my resume out everywhere and I mean EVERYWHERE. I found a few new sites to job hunt on this week and thats helping some. I need an ego boost because this really is giving me a pretty severe shot to the ego. Its hard to have had so much success professionally and than just fall off the map completely. From Vice President to unemployed is not the direction I have been killing myself for the past six years to take. I'm ready for positivity in my life and a great 2011. I sure hope its on its way very soon!! 

Hi everyone...thanks for reading!!

Snowpocalypse 2011: Chicago Edition

I'm not gonna lie Snowpocalypse 2011 didn't have me too scared. I thought it would be like all other storms and we'd hear how scary it was going to be. Grocery stores would be crazy, people would be pushing. Then nothing would happen. Well this time it happened, we had all sorts of blizzard shit going on outside. It was snowing, winds were blowing 40+ mph, and the kicker....there was thunder and lightening.

When I woke up I saw my car under about a foot of snow and there was about a foot plus against my door. It was pretty crazy. We really were hit with some major snow. 

Here are a few pics I took from my Blackberry! 

Also check these out....

The 40 Most Amazing Pics of the Blizzard

Generally unhappy person sometimes

I'm not going to lie and I'm not proud of this but I'm a generally negative person deep down. I don't want to be this way. I think I had this view on how my life should be and I have fallen so short up to this point that I can't help but be bummed out about it. I just read this really interesting article about how extremely intelligent people tend to be emotionally dysfunctional and also tend to be in jail and commit suicide. I'm not worried about the last two but I can for sure say I am emotionally dysfunctional. I wonder why its intelligent people who are emotionally dysfunc? Is it because we have such high expectations and when we don't measure up to them we are devastated? I kind of feel like that's how I am. Maybe I was emotionally dysfunctional first and intelligent because of that. I lost myself in school and always did well to avoid a lot of the real life stuff I was going through like never having a father.

This year I want to be better. I mean honestly do people think I want to be bummed about stuff. I don't want to have to worry about paying bills because I'm not working. I have a very strong resume but still no job after a couple months. I was let go from a job due to some very shady unethical behavior on part of the administration. I'm glad to be gone but I can't say any of it happened at a good time. It really is my goal this year to make changes and to be an overall happier person and not be so hard on myself when things aren't perfect. One of the things I am going to do is give dating a little break. I was getting super negative and annoyed with dating and finding a good guy so I just want to take a step back. I don't choose to be a perfectionist, it's something I have always been and it's something that has always brought me down if I am not doing as good as I need to be doing. I'm going to change and be better!!

Facebook is a lot, but what it's not is....

It's not a place to reconnect with people you didn't want to be friends with in the first place. Ugh.. So I'm getting old which means it is my ten year high school anniversary this year. I'm fine with my age but have zero interest in going back to my high school to see what people are doing. I talk to very few people from high school and I do it that way on purpose. As of late there was a Facebook page created to promote the the planning of the reunion. Well now all of a sudden people from high school are trying to add me as a friend. As I mentioned I am not on Facebook to reconnect with people I never chose to connect with in the first place. I have been using the ignore button quite frequently when getting those types of requests. I refuse to feel bad about it. I put a lot of personal pictures and information on Facebook, and have zero interest in randoms seeing it.

Another thing Facebook is not for.....spam and random dating emails. Leave me be!! I do not appreciate random emails from men telling me how wonderful I am when they know nothing about me. I mean granted I am wonderful but they don't know that for sure lol.

Rule of the day: If I don't know you, consider you a friend, or invite you myself LEAVE MY FACEBOOK ALONE :) You can follow me on Twitter that is for all to see though. Or even better follow my blog, I love when people do that!!

Body Scanners, Pat Downs...oh my!

Over Christmas I took to the friendly sky's after a five year hiatus. I don't like flying and especially not alone but I know it is time to get over this fear and just do it so I can enjoy life. When I was preparing to fly I did not even give the whole security thing a second thought. I wasn't stressed about going through body scanners, I was more worried about the take off of the airplane and turbulence. Once I got in the security line I was more frustrated with having to take off my knee high boots and walking around the dirty floor in my socks then having to sit back down and put them on.

When I got to Midway I was one of the first ones to get in line for security so it went very quickly. When I got up and put all of my stuff on the little convyer belt thing this one security lady was really rude cause I forgot to take my scarf off. Duh I never fly so I didn't really think about it. She told me to take off my coat which I already said. I told her it was just a hooded sweatshirt so then she pulled me aside to "feel me up" aka give me a pat down. No below the belt action...good thing she was so not my type haha. She did get to first base though and realized I had no bombs so I got to go through. At Midway Airport I didn't even see the body scanner, and I heard they had one.

When I got to Cleveland Hopkins airport to come back home to Chicago there was a body scanner being used and I was kinda interested in going in it but I guess I looked less shady so no one paid me any attention and just let me pass through. I saw a lady have to stand perfectly still in it though. I honestly don't think I'd mind it. My thoughts when flying are; "please don't let me die". So if someone scanning my body helps that come true I'm all about it. I think the airport should have strict rules. On my way back from home in Ohio my biggest worry was that my several dozen cookies wouldn't make it through security lol. They did! And my ass is growing because of it.

I can still remember where I was September 11, 2001 when the terrorist attacks happen. I feel like I still think of that when flying which is why I'm very afraid of flying. In fact I did not fly for the first time until after the attacks so that didn't help my nerves at all. Sometimes I wonder how many other people still have that in their mind. I also wonder if we worry enough about potential things happening in the future. I don't think I worried about much before that happened but I gained a level of anxiety afterwards and distrust for people I don't know.

Day 16 – What is in your bag?

16 Day Blog Challenge. 

Day 16 – My wallet, makeup, chap-stick, sunglasses...I'm a minimalist. What can I say?!

Ok so I'm officially done with my 16 day challenge and it was nice to get a lot more posts going on my blog! I love blogging, sometimes I just need that extra push or topic to get me going. 

Day 15 – A letter to yourself, tell yourself ANYTHING you think you should know about your life.

16 Day Blog Challenge. 

Day 15 – Dear Nycole, 

It's ok. You can finally breathe and realize that trying so hard to be perfect will only make things harder on yourself. 2011 is all about finding out how to be the best me. Finding a new job, heightened level of happiness, health, travel...just enjoying the hell out of life. I'm not going to make resolutions for new years but I'm going to make a to-do list. I want to be successful and not set goals that are unattainable. I'm shooting for the stars and working hard to get there.


xoxo


ME :)