Generally unhappy person sometimes

I'm not going to lie and I'm not proud of this but I'm a generally negative person deep down. I don't want to be this way. I think I had this view on how my life should be and I have fallen so short up to this point that I can't help but be bummed out about it. I just read this really interesting article about how extremely intelligent people tend to be emotionally dysfunctional and also tend to be in jail and commit suicide. I'm not worried about the last two but I can for sure say I am emotionally dysfunctional. I wonder why its intelligent people who are emotionally dysfunc? Is it because we have such high expectations and when we don't measure up to them we are devastated? I kind of feel like that's how I am. Maybe I was emotionally dysfunctional first and intelligent because of that. I lost myself in school and always did well to avoid a lot of the real life stuff I was going through like never having a father.

This year I want to be better. I mean honestly do people think I want to be bummed about stuff. I don't want to have to worry about paying bills because I'm not working. I have a very strong resume but still no job after a couple months. I was let go from a job due to some very shady unethical behavior on part of the administration. I'm glad to be gone but I can't say any of it happened at a good time. It really is my goal this year to make changes and to be an overall happier person and not be so hard on myself when things aren't perfect. One of the things I am going to do is give dating a little break. I was getting super negative and annoyed with dating and finding a good guy so I just want to take a step back. I don't choose to be a perfectionist, it's something I have always been and it's something that has always brought me down if I am not doing as good as I need to be doing. I'm going to change and be better!!

Facebook is a lot, but what it's not is....

It's not a place to reconnect with people you didn't want to be friends with in the first place. Ugh.. So I'm getting old which means it is my ten year high school anniversary this year. I'm fine with my age but have zero interest in going back to my high school to see what people are doing. I talk to very few people from high school and I do it that way on purpose. As of late there was a Facebook page created to promote the the planning of the reunion. Well now all of a sudden people from high school are trying to add me as a friend. As I mentioned I am not on Facebook to reconnect with people I never chose to connect with in the first place. I have been using the ignore button quite frequently when getting those types of requests. I refuse to feel bad about it. I put a lot of personal pictures and information on Facebook, and have zero interest in randoms seeing it.

Another thing Facebook is not for.....spam and random dating emails. Leave me be!! I do not appreciate random emails from men telling me how wonderful I am when they know nothing about me. I mean granted I am wonderful but they don't know that for sure lol.

Rule of the day: If I don't know you, consider you a friend, or invite you myself LEAVE MY FACEBOOK ALONE :) You can follow me on Twitter that is for all to see though. Or even better follow my blog, I love when people do that!!

Body Scanners, Pat Downs...oh my!

Over Christmas I took to the friendly sky's after a five year hiatus. I don't like flying and especially not alone but I know it is time to get over this fear and just do it so I can enjoy life. When I was preparing to fly I did not even give the whole security thing a second thought. I wasn't stressed about going through body scanners, I was more worried about the take off of the airplane and turbulence. Once I got in the security line I was more frustrated with having to take off my knee high boots and walking around the dirty floor in my socks then having to sit back down and put them on.

When I got to Midway I was one of the first ones to get in line for security so it went very quickly. When I got up and put all of my stuff on the little convyer belt thing this one security lady was really rude cause I forgot to take my scarf off. Duh I never fly so I didn't really think about it. She told me to take off my coat which I already said. I told her it was just a hooded sweatshirt so then she pulled me aside to "feel me up" aka give me a pat down. No below the belt action...good thing she was so not my type haha. She did get to first base though and realized I had no bombs so I got to go through. At Midway Airport I didn't even see the body scanner, and I heard they had one.

When I got to Cleveland Hopkins airport to come back home to Chicago there was a body scanner being used and I was kinda interested in going in it but I guess I looked less shady so no one paid me any attention and just let me pass through. I saw a lady have to stand perfectly still in it though. I honestly don't think I'd mind it. My thoughts when flying are; "please don't let me die". So if someone scanning my body helps that come true I'm all about it. I think the airport should have strict rules. On my way back from home in Ohio my biggest worry was that my several dozen cookies wouldn't make it through security lol. They did! And my ass is growing because of it.

I can still remember where I was September 11, 2001 when the terrorist attacks happen. I feel like I still think of that when flying which is why I'm very afraid of flying. In fact I did not fly for the first time until after the attacks so that didn't help my nerves at all. Sometimes I wonder how many other people still have that in their mind. I also wonder if we worry enough about potential things happening in the future. I don't think I worried about much before that happened but I gained a level of anxiety afterwards and distrust for people I don't know.

Day 16 – What is in your bag?

16 Day Blog Challenge. 

Day 16 – My wallet, makeup, chap-stick, sunglasses...I'm a minimalist. What can I say?!

Ok so I'm officially done with my 16 day challenge and it was nice to get a lot more posts going on my blog! I love blogging, sometimes I just need that extra push or topic to get me going. 

Day 15 – A letter to yourself, tell yourself ANYTHING you think you should know about your life.

16 Day Blog Challenge. 

Day 15 – Dear Nycole, 

It's ok. You can finally breathe and realize that trying so hard to be perfect will only make things harder on yourself. 2011 is all about finding out how to be the best me. Finding a new job, heightened level of happiness, health, travel...just enjoying the hell out of life. I'm not going to make resolutions for new years but I'm going to make a to-do list. I want to be successful and not set goals that are unattainable. I'm shooting for the stars and working hard to get there.


xoxo


ME :)