We want what we can't have

It is totally true that we want what we cannot have. At least it is true in my case. I do not know if it is my competitive nature or what is it. Maybe a need to prove that I can do it. Either way...what the hell am I thinking. There is one guy, yeah just one that I have always wanted but he is at the tip of my fingers. Not completely gone, but never completely here. I often think, what would I do if I got what I thought I wanted. It would never work we are entirely different and have nothing in common. So even though I know this, I still cannot get over it. It is like I do not want to take the loss or something. I have that winning is everything attitude and it is rearing its evil head here too.