Texting has been positive for me in the way that it keeps me in touch with people I otherwise would not talk to. I am not a big phone person so if I do not have a lot to say I avoid the phone conversation all together. The only time I really spend on the phone is with family or if I need an immediate response. When I'm on the phone I find myself very bored and busy doing other things. I text a lot of friends from college, or BBM them to stay in touch. Otherwise we wouldn't chat, other than the occasional Facebook comments on status updates.
Texting definitely has its downs because when you're friends with people its easy to get bored texting the same old short messages time after time. You don't ever really get into a deep conversation and there is just a disconnect. I remember when I was in high school and I was dating I would spend hours on the phone talking to that boy. Now I get bored after minutes. Maybe its because we are just so busy doing too many things we no longer have time to just slow down and build relationships with people.When someone texts when you're with them that is insanely rude. Cell phones are seriously addictive and people need to be connected. I am guilty of needing to be connected, but I can put the phone away when I'm with other people.
Maybe that is the bigger question, why are we too busy to have personal relationships with friends and significant others. I feel like so many people my age do not have a lot of quality relationships, its all acquaintances. Is it because we are too busy to meet people, or too busy to care about the lives of others?
4 comments:
The alienation you describe has been around for a long time, and has been written about extensively. David Reisman, Nathan Glazer and Reuel Denney's classic study, The Lonely Crowd, was first published in 1950; Karl Marx was writing about this type of thing back in the mid-19th century.
The tendecy to form limited, superficial relationships instead of deeper, more satisfying ones probably has many causes. I suspect many are rooted in our economic system.
Being chronically busy is definately part of it. That is a direct result of people's manic work schedules. Physical mobility is another culprit. The average American relocates about once every seven years, which makes it difficult to preserve long-term bonds. This physical rootlessness is also often necessiated by work demands.
More broadly, our economic system encourages a highly competative, individualistic, "me-first" attitude that can undermine mutually supportive behavior. People don't bond, they network. People form relationships to advance careers, not find companionship. I see the hook-up culture I talked about before as another example of this. When business values become social values, human solidarity suffers.
I don't think technologies you mentioned created the problem. However, they are tailor-made for people living in a competative, disconnected, frenetic social environment. In that sense, they are probably making the problem worse.
In the final analysis, cell phones, faxes, email, etc don't help people communicate better. They just help people communicate faster. In a business context, where time is money, this is indeed helpful. In an interpersonal context, not so much.
Dennis you never cease to amaze me when you add such wonderful comments!! I see a definite connection between our economic system and our friendships. Its sort of like a degrees of separation type of thing.
Sort of like:
-we need to have money so we work
-we need to be successful so we work long hours which in turn gives us less time for a social life
-another look is that work does teach us to be "me first" and we dont have as much capability to form relationships
I think technology is definitely used as an excuse to not be social though sometimes. Sometimes someone will just spend a night at home blogging or twittering or facebooking when they could go get a drink with a friend.
I want to find the happy medium and try to take my laptop with me to go get coffee or something. Maybe I can be social while being a computer nerd. Who knows lol!
thanks for the post
I have the same opinion with most of your points, but some need to be discussed further, I will hold a small discussion with my buddies and perhaps I will look for you some advice later.
- Henry
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