Great Solutions for New Year’s Resolutions!

With 2013 behind us, many of us have already begun to adhere to our 2014 resolutions that we set for the year. Every year, when it comes to resolution time I hesitate, because I don't want to create some lofty goals that will set me up for disappointment. This year I made sure to set very realistic resolutions and then put them out there in the world to put a little added pressure on myself. My resolutions for the year are to the left. Because resolution making and seeing it through can be scary I jumped on the opportunity to ask Sterling, a popular life coach, what her thoughts were on how to set resolutions that actually had a chance of going the distance. I came up with five questions that I wanted her feedback on, questions that I was mulling over during the creation of my list. In her guest article below you will find her answers to my questions. Hopefully it will help give you the confidence you need to keep up with your resolutions as well! 

Enjoy the following post, Great Solutions for New Year’s Resolutions!, by The Savvy Brunette Guest Blogger and Life Coach, Sterling.

Right now, it's an exciting time to create New Year’s resolutions, right? Maybe yours include aerobic exercising, engaging socially with friends, attending an art class, helping others or simply taking more time out for you! It can also be a confronting time when we think about our past, unrealized New Year's resolutions. How do we fulfill on these important resolutions? I've created some easy key steps to keep your New Year's resolutions right on track!  

1. How do you push past the fear of failing, based on past unfulfilled resolutions?
Declare that this is a New Year out loud and that the past is something that happened in the past. Declare that you live the present moment and draw inspiration from your intended and, importantly, created future.

2. How do you set realistic New Year’s resolutions?

Choose resolutions that feel right for you right now – in the immediate future. What resolutions feel more inspiring and less daunting? Start with those. Who says you can’t create more complex resolutions along the way? You can. Stick with smaller, more realistic resolutions and go from there. There will be greater opportunities to add to your resolutions along the way, as you grow more confident completing the initial ones that you create. It doesn’t have to be a new year to create your life.  It’s always a good time to keep evolving and growing in your life.

3. How do we continue to push forward when we aren't accomplishing our resolutions right way?

Allow yourself to have infinite patience. Sounds like a contradiction in the modern, fast-paced world, right? It is. Our typical impulse is to push ahead in order to cause intended results faster, but this actually pushes our results away. The reality is that if we can allow infinite patience in our lives, we actually accelerate the process of receiving intended results.

A really good way to help our New Year’s resolutions come to life quicker is by making some seemingly insignificant changes along the way. Throw out old, outmoded things and replace with the new, like: take a new route to work, listen to new music, trade your old look for a new one, meet new people, create a day of adventure or go to an exciting new museum exhibition. Change helps facilitate important new turns in your life and any change, no matter how small, can make your New Year’s resolution come to fruition more easily and faster.

4. How do you learn to celebrate your progress and not just the final result?

There is something to celebrate just by simply choosing our New Year’s resolutions. This is the first step towards success. Realizing this is not only encouraging, but gives you a boost of confidence, knowing that your New Year’s resolution is beginning! Also, it always helps to be kind to you by creating a healthy reward for keeping on the path. Go get a massage, go out to the movies, buy theater tickets, take an overnight trip or buy a piece of new clothing to ring in the new season!

5. What is the key to create resolution making as a great kick-off to the New Year, versus something full of pressure?

Take bite-sized action. Commit yourself to your New Year’s resolutions for just one month if you feel overwhelmed with the big-picture commitment that you’ve made. After one month, determine whether you’d like to take on another month of engaging in your resolutions. Repeat this action. It’s a little trick that we can play on ourselves because it takes approximately 21 days for change to occur, that is, for something to become more habitual and second nature. By the time a month is over, chances are, you’ve acclimated to your new lifestyle. Then, slipping back into your old ways may prove to be harder than you think! Also, remember that consistency is the key. If we can be consistent for a period of time, then the rest is easy. Plus, the headway that we make and the results that we experience are enough to strengthen our commitment – for good.

About Sterling

Sterling has gathered over 20 years of extraordinary experience in the fields of life coaching, psychology and astrology. She formally studied psychology in Dallas, and between 1998-2003, studied advanced personal development at the famed Landmark Education Center in Los Angeles. In 1998, she began her professional career as an astrologer, tarot card reader and life coach. Sterling then developed her unique Art of Manifestation © life coaching program for clients to create and experience outstanding lives. Today, she offers all of her services at Intuitive Life By Sterling, her spiritual life coaching practice in West Hollywood, California and through online, telephone and Skype appointments. Ultimately, Sterling provides caring and passionate guidance, leading clients to fulfilling the amazing lives that they've always intended.

To book an appointment with Sterling today, go to: www.intuitivelifebysterling.com. You can also find her on Facebook and Twitter. 

Look Flawless with TEMPTU's Airbrush Makeup Kit

 

I have always really enjoyed makeup, and trying new looks. When I was given the opportunity to try TEMPTU’s Airbrush Makeup Kit, I was beyond excited. It was coming at the perfect time with my birthday being a week from when the kit was to arrive. I had planned to have my makeup professionally done for a dinner, but with TEMPTU on its way I figured I could give it a try myself this year! I had already heard so much about TEMPTU’s spray makeup but I was always afraid to try it. It looked like a system that needed to be used by a professional makeup artist. After using it, I realized boy was I wrong! TEMPTU makeup is for everyone.

When I got my TEMPTU airbrush kit in the mail the first thing I did was read the instructions and hop online to get some tips to learn how to apply it correctly. TEMPTU has a great  How To video from their makeup artist that teaches you easy to follow tips and tricks. They also have some additional resources which can be found here. After watching the video, I felt ready to give it a try. In my kit I got TEMPTU foundation, blush and highlighter. It may have been first timers luck, but my first application was even and it looked great (see picture below). The nice thing was that the entire application process took minutes and there was no need to layer and cake on different products. TEMPTU foundation looked great and made my skin look clear and blemish free with one overall spray. I also used the blush and highlighter, which is a little hard to see in the photo because I kept it pretty light. You can layer the spray on to make it darker, but I was getting ready to go run errands so wanted that all natural look. Maybe the best part about the makeup was that it stayed ALL DAY. No joke. I looked at it later at night and it was still there, in the same place where we started in the morning. Normally my blush is gone by like 11am and the rest has started to wear off by end of day. Not with TEMPTU. Great lasting look.

The cool thing  TEMPTU’s Airbrush Makeup Kit and AIRpod makeup is that they were the first to create this easy-to-use home airbrush makeup system. They actually created this system for professional makeup artists and as the brand grew it morphed into something the everyday woman could use at home.With the Airbrush Makeup Kit you really are getting a professional grade system that you can use everyday with ease.

TEMPTU does a great job at sharing how-to tips and videos as well as great offers on all of their social media channels. I encourage you to check out their Facebook, Twitter and Instagram to learn more about the TEMPTU system. While exploring TEMPTU’s social media I saw so many famous faces that used the makeup system. Some of the biggest celebs out there are using the exact same system that I have been trying out over the past week. I really enjoyed seeing different TEMPTU looks on Carrie Underwood, Katy Perry, Scarlett Johansson, Beyonce and Madonna. It just shows the diversity in the brand. It works for women of all ages and skin colors. TEMPTU is also the chosen makeup system  for artists who do the makeup for major runway shows such as Prada, Dior, BCBG and Herve Leger. There is something to be said for a stamp of approval from all of these great makeup artists who work with the top talent around the world in fashion, music, film and television.

AWESOME GIVEAWAY ALERT
I have been given the opportunity to host an AWESOME giveaway for my followers. One of you can win your very own TEMPTU Signature Airbrush Makeup Kit which includes the system, foundation, blush and highlighter! This kit starts at $149 so this really is a great giveaway. TEMPTU did not stop there with their generosity, they gave me a 20% discount offer (Code C0KA8PHK) not just for myself but to share with my readers. This would be a terrific gift for a girlfriend or anyone in your family that loves makeup. Be the all star gift giver this year and save 20% while doing it! I’m thinking about getting this spray on makeup system for my mom! She’d love it.

HERE IS YOUR CHANCE TO WIN YOUR VERY OWN 
TEMPTU AIRBRUSH MAKEUP SYSTEM! 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

CONGRATS TO THE SAVVY BRUNETTE'S WINNER LINDA MCCONNELL. ENJOY!

Day 7 - Where you are in your life vs. where you thought you would be at this point

With 31 knocking on my door I definitely thought I would be in a relationship by now. I thought I would have felt love by now and experienced life with a great man. Things definitely have not turned out that way. Instead, I spent my 20s, and 30th year worry about career and working and trying to find happiness and balance there.

I'm missing love and marriage. That hasn't entered my picture yet and it's something that I truly want and need in my life.

It's hard to plan for life when you're constantly growing and changing. I know that in my almost 9 years in Chicago I have changed significantly as a person. For this very reason I try really hard not to compare what I have to what I want. There is too much of a bummer factor. I am a perfectionist and not being where I want is a downer. I do know that the progress I have made as a professional and as a person is more than I could have imagined in my young life. Sometimes what you want comes when you need it and not when you want it. I know love will come, it might just not be the right time yet.

Day 6 - Sound off on the quote “Every woman has the exact love life she wants”

Sound off on the quote “Every woman has the exact love life she wants”.

SAY WHAT?? I know I'm doing this blog challenge, but I cannot even imagine how this quote is something people genuinely believe. How can you even judge this. I have a feeling that no one ever has the love life they really want, female or male. There is always something else that we want or crave. If you love his smile and how he treats you, he may be horrible in the sack. This is coming from the girl that believes in true love. I don't think there is an exact about anything in life. Thinking that way is setting yourself up for major failure. You have to know the things that make you happy and find a person that fits that puzzle best.

Honestly, I am the EXACT opposite of having exactly what I want in my love life. I have no love life in fact. I want one. I want real, genuine, forever love with great chemistry and passion. I have stupid memories of an ex that still loom over my heart to make sure it's not completely healed. This is nothing close to exactly what I want.

The exact love life I want...wow I don't even know how to describe it. Single isn't it though ha. I know it would include me married in a successful marriage with a great man who made an effort to make me smile and laugh everyday. A guy who knew everything about me and could never get enough of me. Those are just a few of the things I'd need to have exactly the love life I wanted.

Day 5 - Biggest misconception people have about single life

For some reason, people look at the single life as this glamorous life with endless possibilities. They envision dating someone different every night. One problem, you cannot just date whoever you want. Single life doesn't come with sparklers and fireworks. Single life comes with just as many, if not way more challenges. Dating is relatively impossible. Ok, that is an exaggeration. What is impossible is finding someone you want to date. Sure I could go on a date every single night with pretty much all men I have no interest in. Some women do that to get free meals, I am not that girl. I will not use someone for a free meal. 

People act like single people answer to no one so we can do whatever we want when we want. I mean, to an extent sure but we still have jobs and responsibilities. I think the people who normally have this opinion are those who settled way too early and never really went through a real stage of dating. Your 20s are for dating. Marriage shouldn't be allowed till after 25 years old. You have to figure so much out about yourself before you're truly prepared to settle down. Learn about life. Single isn't glamorous, give it a try. Experience the life. Learn about yourself. 

Day 4 - Your biggest fear as a single person

My biggest fear as a single person is that it's not just temporary but a permanent problem. In no way shape or form, is being single forever acceptable in my mind. At least not for me. I want the love and marriage lifestyle. It freaks me out to no end to think that I can want that so badly but have absolutely no real control over making it happen. I mean I guess at some point I could settle but then I wonder would I be happier settling for something I don't want or staying alone. 

I'm also afraid that if and when I meet someone that it won't last. That I'll give my all, my years, my heart, my life and then it just ends someday. I'm frightened that "till death do us part", will be more like till we can't stand each other or he cheats. As you can see, my level of trust in love and relationships is rather low. I base this off past experiences. I am extremely afraid of being hurt by someone. I wear my heart on my sleeve and probably give too much of myself to someone too early but I don't know how else to be. I don't mean sexually btw...just in case your wheels started to spin. It's silly but I start to imagine what a future could look like. To me, without that picture I don't know if I can date someone. I need to be able to picture them fitting with my future. I fear that it's so easy to picture me being married and having this beautiful ceremony but it's impossible to picture who the man is. I know when it's right he'll reveal himself, but will it be too late? Will I have already given up or settled?

Day 3 - Describe a moment/day when being single rocked

Day 3 of the Single Woman's 30 Day Blogging Challenge - Describe a moment/day when being single ROCKED. 

It rocks when I don't have to explain myself or answer to anyone. Specifically when a Friday night plan turns into an entire weekend of fun with friends. Honestly, I'd say for the most part I'd trade in my single card in a moment for the right man. 

Day 2 - Describe a moment/day when being single sucked.

Day 2 of the Single Woman's 30 Day Blogging Challenge - Describe a moment/day when being single sucked. 

This weekend. I'm not sure why, but I was really feeling the stress and pressure of being single this weekend. Maybe because I was thinking about my 31st birthday which is coming in a month. I don't necessarily have any ticking time clocks but my god I do not want to end up single and alone in the long run. I would love to meet someone and start dating them this year. Maybe 31 will be good luck for me. My 30th was great for professional and friendship purposes. 

Anytime when I see others together really happy it bums me out slightly because I want to have that and experience it. Learn what it's like. I genuinely have no idea what it's like to go on an amazing date with a man who cares about me. Yikes, I guess being single sucks more often then I might even want to admit. 

30 Day Challenge - Day 1 - Why are you still single

I have had some major writers block matched with lack of free time lately. I came across this really cool Single Woman's 30 Day Blogging Challenge. I decided to give it a go. Not promising that the 30 day challenge will be 30 consecutive days, but let's see what I can do. 

So here goes....Why am I single?
I love me, more than I love the idea of finding a partner right now. Don't get me wrong I want to be in love and get married someday. I have always wanted love and marriage. Happily ever after, all that stuff. I blame the Cosby's. I'm even ready for it and would welcome it into my life. Here is the thing, I thought I was ready my entire life but when I turned 30 I realized I couldn't have become the person I am if I would have found Mr. Right earlier in life. I'm one of those women who gives someone my all when I'm dating them. When I was younger I use to let dating and relationships interfere with other things I had going on in life. I have always worked hard to grow professionally but the older I get the more involved I get and the more I grow as a person. I don't think I could have done that or pushed myself if I was with someone and focusing on them and making something work. I don't think it's bad to be a woman who gives a man her all. I do think it's important to find a balance, and I think I finally understand what that means.

There is something to be said for the old saying, that god has a plan for each of us. I'm not religious but I do believe there are powers beyond us that have certain plans in place for us. With that being said I know myself and I know that love in my 20s could have had the power to derail my career and my progress. I know this in part because my ex almost derailed me. I'm still not over him and have mini relapses of judgement where I remember "the good times" and conveniently forget the bad. When things with him ended I pushed myself to start my freelance work and to get involved in more things that made me happy. I built stronger friendships with the people who meant the most to me and got closer to great new friends. Stressing about him was no longer at the center of my world. We dated long distance and I would skip events or not attend events just to Skype with him at night. I just didn't know how to separate myself from a relationship in my 20s. 

Now that I'm 30, I'm ready. I'm comfortable knowing what I want professionally and knowing who I am. Almost 31, and still single because at this point in my life it is not about settling quickly. I like to say that the focus goes from Mr. Perfect to "Mr. Right for my life situation and goals". I continue to meet men who were like me in my 20s...just not there. Not sure of who they are, what they want or how to treat a woman. I'll pass. There was even a man older than me who wanted me to be patient while he got his life together. Although I considered it because he was a good guy I realized I have to stop sacrificing my happiness by wasting time. When do I get the fun romantic dates that other girls get regularly.  I deserve it, so it's time to find it and stop making pit stops on the way with men who only occupy time. 

If you'd like to learn more about the type of man I'm looking for and how I feel about dating checklists please checkout SecretLivesChi.com a brand new singles blog I co-founded. Happy reading.

Interview with Celebrity Make-Up Artist Gita Bass

When it comes to makeup, I love to have fun but keep it relatively simple. When it comes to skincare, I look for ways to keep my skin youthful. With that being said, you can only imagine how excited I was when I got the opportunity to interview Celebrity Make-Up Artist Gita Bass. Gita has created looks for celebs like Ashley Greene and Selena Gomez. Take a moment to view my interview with Gita to learn great, easy to follow tips to keep your skin healthy and your makeup flawless.

The interview was great, so many takeaways to use on a daily basis. Below you'll find my cliff notes!

1. What type of moisturizing regimen do you recommend to help keep skin youthful and healthy?

Gita stressed that you want to find a skin care line, like Simple Skincare that is gentle, with no dyes or harsh chemicals. Regardless of skin type, there is a moisturizer out there for everyone. 

2. When it comes to creating an everyday natural look with makeup what do you recommend?

In the fall, use a moisturizer that is a little richer with an SPF. Then add a little color to your cheeks and lips, then finish it off with mascara.

3. Great go to colors for fall makeup? Is there really a red lipstick for every woman?

There is a red lipstick for everyone…whew! Ladies with warm skin tones go for warm reds. Then for us pale ladies like myself we should look for a blue based or pinkish red. Also, deep purple and plum is totally ok for fall. Fall is also time for smokey eyes but with rich jewel tones.

4. How does the everyday woman get a flawless red carpet look that will stay put?

Waterproof and long wear products. Bronzer and gorgeous skin are key!

5. What is an appropriate meet the family look?

Whatever makes you feel the most beautiful and the most confident. Be yourself!

6. Great cleansing routine?

Gita recommend Simple cleansing wipes and eye makeup remover.  Always cleanse, tone, and moisturize nightly (note to self)!

If you know me, you know I am relatively impatient when it comes to my excitement for trying new things. To stay true to my craziness, I decided to go out and buy some of the Simple products the night of my interview with Gita. I went to the where to buy part of Simple's website and quickly was able to find a CVS right in my neighborhood. There, I found Simple's Face Care Starter Kit. What a great way to draw people in and have them try out multiple products.Well the Simple verdict is in, I love it. My face felt very clean and refreshed after using all three products.

Thank you to Simple Skincare and Gita Bass for this opportunity. I learned a lot about skin care and how to create some key makeup looks the Simple way ;) 

#GoBlue with Teespring!

Growing up, I was a total tomboy but that never stopped me from wanting to be a fashion designer. No joke. I use to draw pictures of dresses. Thought I would even design my wedding dress someday. Haven't actually cancelled out that idea yet, to be honest. I have a treat for the inner fashion designer in us all, Teespring! It's this amazing crowdfunding platform for groups, causes and communities where you can design and sell custom apparel. Maybe the coolest thing about it is that there is no cost to you to design the shirt. 

It is rather simple to get started. The biggest challenge of all is getting your shirt sold so that the order can go through. First visit Teespring.com and watch this quick design tutorial. Then once your training wheels are off, get your designer cap on and make an awesome shirt.

Come up with an awesome idea. You can choose color, font, and even upload an image. I have really pumped about college football season the past few weeks so I decided to make a Michigan Wolverines shirt. I have been a Wolverines fan since roughly age 13. I know what you're thinking, but you're from Ohio. Yep, get over it. Wolverines are my love! I'm sure you're also wondering what is up with the hashtag situation. Well, I'm a nerd. That is all. No really, I am a lover of all things social media and during football season #GoBlue can be seen in thousands of my tweets. So I wanted to make this shirt fun and nerdy!!

Cool shirt has been designed, now what? Now you set your price. I wanted this shirt to be affordable so we need to sell 499 of them in order for this shirt to go to print. It's ONLY $12. How often can you get a really sweet t-shirt for just $12 these days. This is a @MsNycole designer original.

We have just 2 weeks and 6 days starting NOW to get 499 shirts sold. Lets get it done!!

ORDER YOUR #GoBlue SHIRT HERE: 
http://teespring.com/thesavvybrunette

Disclosure: This is a sponsored post. All opinions are my own.

Bling It On! With Hpnotiq: Submit Your Glammest Look To Win The Handbag Of Your Choice

I'm excited to announce my special collaboration with Hpnotiq to bring you a very GLAM contest! Do you love glam things? From now until July 28^th 2013, Hpnotiq wants you to show them how you GLAM LOUDER to win fab prizes! Submit photos of the glammest head to toe look you can find. Entries can be pictures you snap yourself or images you find online. 

When you think "glam", what comes to mind? For me, being glam embodies so many different things. It is an entire look, feel and aura. Glam is sexy, charming, classing, alluring and even romantic. When I hear the word glam, I immediately think Charlize Theron. She is glamorous at all times! I have chosen a few of her best looks. My favorite is the long white dress! 

Ready to Bling It On!? 

Hpnotiq wants to see how you pull it all together for a chance to win the ultimate accessory: the handbag of your choice valued at up to $1000. For this round they’re choosing 4 lucky winners to spend up to $1,000 on the fabbest bag they can find to compliment their glammest look! If you’re one of the 4 winners, you’ll also be able to compete in the final round for a chance to win the grand prize trip for you and three friends to go shopping with a celebrity Los Angeles! Even better - the grand prize winner will star in a professional photo shoot for the chance to be in a real Hpnotiq Ad!

Want to Enter:

Hpnotiq’s Glammest Look Challenge is going on RIGHT NOW - but hurry – the entry period for the glammest head to toe look ends at 11:59:59 a.m. EST on July 28^th! 

Here's How to Enter:

• Visit http://9nl.it/irby/

• Visit Hpnotiq’s Facebook page

• Follow @Hpnotiq on twitter and tweet them your picture using the hashtag #GLAMLOUDER.

Before you enter make sure to read the full contest rules here. 

Disclosure: This is a sponsored post. All opinions are my own. I was so happy to be a part of this contest, because I can say I have been a fan of the Hpnotiq brand since college. I can remember my junior year in 2003, friends traveled an hour to get this new drink! It was love at first taste. 

Excitement for the holiday!

A four day "vacation" is almost here. Pure excitement is running through my brain. I love to decompress and just take time off to spend it with friends. One more day of work this week and then I am off till next Monday.

I am most looking forward to spending July 4th with a lot of friends at Arlington Park. I do not know what it is about horse racing but it is so fun to watch. Bet a few dollars here or there. Believe me, a few dollars is all this little lady has right now. Have drinks and just enjoy the holidays with friends.

Saturday hanging out with more friends at a House Music Festival on the south side of Chicago. Should be a fun time. It's outdoors near the lake. Which reminds me, I need to get some suntan lotion! My pale skin does not need to burn.

What are you doing for July Fourth? Have a safe and happy holiday!

Marriage Equality

Something I saw on Facebook earlier today got me thinking. The post was an engagement ring photo, posted by an old high school classmate. Immediately, I was happy for her! I don't keep in touch with old high school friends but Facebook keeps me in the know. Anyhow, I noticed she is engaged to a woman. My sentiments of happiness for her didn't change one bit when realizing that. In fact, I was really happy she is out,  happy and gets a rocking ring.

This post made me think about her and my other friends from high school. No one knew she was gay (at least no one said anything if they did). Not even sure if she knew. I honestly cannot remember one person in my high school being openly gay. I was in high school from 97-01, were people still scared then or was it a small town thing? Small town mentalities very greatly from major cities. I personally have my own dating preference that I use to always get joked with about. I have always only dated black men and some of my friends, specifically men, made a lot of jokes about it. Are kids in small schools more critical of each other?

This brings me to the topic of this blog, took awhile didn't it.  Marriage equality. It is something I feel very strongly about. I have no doubt in my mind that everyone deserves true love and that love deserves a chance to be recognized legally. Not to mention that with marriage comes so many benefits that many of us don't think of or take for granted. I have read endless articles about gay couples losing everything and not having rights if something happens to a loved one. Can you imagine being with someone for 20 years, losing them and then not even being able to attend the funeral? I can't, in fact it disgusts me. When forming an opinion make sure you know the facts. Know how this can effect the people involved. There is a great fact sheet you can check out here. I also encourage you to check out this great website to see what the current status of Marriage Equality is in each of our states.

We as a society need to stop being so judgmental. It's not our place to say who can love each other and who cannot. There are so many more pressing issues we can busy ourselves with. Here in Chicago I think we could worry about how 500+ people were murdered last year. Unfortunately, instead of worrying about that the government would rather stall on passing marriage equality. I know that someday marriage equality will be everywhere. When that day is, is up in the air. I hope for the sake of all the amazing people who deserve to get married but cannot that that day is soon!

Dear Blog....sorry for the neglect.

Major blog neglect has occurred and I am the guilty party. When I started blogging I did it for "free therapy". As I continue to build my brand I want to bring my blog back into play and utilize it not only for "free therapy" but to have meaningful conversations with others and review cool new products.  Twitter has taken the main stage in my life. I have reviewed many products and services through Twitter and I feel like my blog is a great platform for that as well. Join me on this updated idea of what The Savvy Brunette is going to be. Being that I'm "The Savvy Brunette", means I have opportunity to grow and change and boy have I, so it time to implement change in my blog too! 

Whatever happened to manners?

Today I posted this message on Facebook, "The "thank you" or cordial hello wave is very underutilized in our society. A guy gave me the cordial hello neighbor wave as we passed in my garage today and I thought wow how friendly more people need to do that. Even more important is the thank you wave when someone lets you out when you're driving. When someone doesn't give me the thank you wave I kind of want to give them a real FU back hand. I dunno why it makes me so mad that people don't have manners but how hard is a quick little cordial thank you wave?". A good friend of mine replied asking why people also don't say thank you when others open the door for them. This brings an even broader issue to the table. 

WHAT HAPPENED TO MANNERS?

Do you make sure to say thank you whenever someone does something nice for you? On the other end do you get frustrated when you do something nice and the person doesn't say thank you?

I'm keeping this post short and sweet but I'm sitting here pondering why people simply aren't nice to each other anymore. Why is it so crazy to say hi to a stranger in the elevator? Did we all become shy? I think the answer is more likely because too many of us became self absorbed. 

Happy New Year....2013 here I come!

Happy New Year Everyone!!

I realize I have become horrible at posting on my blog and I have to make that change. Time to chronicle some of the randomness going on in my life and take this blog back to what it originally was. A place to just rant and talk about whatever. I realized that to my surprise some people actually read The Savvy Brunette which is AWESOME. I want to thank everyone who has ever read a post or even taken a peak! I appreciate it. It has motivated me to get it together and get back to my blog that I love. In all reality I am "The Savvy Brunette" or so I think ;) Savvy is one of many words I use to describe myself along with cooky, stressed, silly, nerd, loving...I could go on. I'm a little bit of everything and that is why I am who I am. Postings to come soon...

2013...it's going to be a good one. I say that because I refuse to have a bad one. No more men or work stress or drama. If it's not working I will find something that works better.

xoxo

Why I don't care to meet my father

My entire life I spent wondering who my father was and where he was. I wondered why he didn't want to keep me. I use to absolutely hate this person I didn't even know because I felt cheated. I had periods of time where I wanted to find him just to make him pay child support for all of the years he should have so I could have paid for college and not taken out loans.

The older I got I realized I didn't need to live in the past. My entire life I knew his first name but my mother wouldn't tell me his last. I'll be honest I was angry with her for not telling me. Not too long ago my grandmother told me his entire name. My first thought was to find him and figure out what happened. I spent maybe two hours googling and trying to find him. He has a very general name that hundreds of others do so I didn't find any strong leads just a lot of people that could have been. When I realized that I realized I didn't care actually find out. I wasn't going to waste time trying to figure out who he was when he never wanted to know who I was.

I don't regret not knowing my father. My family is nontraditional  I am closest to my grandmother and sister and then my mother. My mother and I have work to do but we love each other a lot we just aren't close. I want to be better friends with my mom. My father missed out on a really great person in his life but quite frankly it's his loss and not mine. I don't care to know if I have other siblings, my sister is the only one I want in my life!

My family is my life. I have my core. My grandmother and grandfather, sister, mom and my nephew. They're the people who I will do anything for. I'm almost glad I don't know him because at this point I appreciate being me and I wouldn't be who I am if things were different.

Am I ready for 30?

In 1997, Pamela Redmond Satran, wrote a great piece called 30 Things Every Woman Should Have and Should Know by the Time She's 30 well it resurfaced on Huffington Post not too long ago and I had the opportunity to read it. With my thirtieth birthday quickly approaching I felt it was important to take a deep look at this list and I wanted to share it here. I will share her thirty things with my own commentary next to each item.

By 30, you should have ...

1. One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you’ve come. I'm actually going through this right now. I have that one guy that I want to go back to because we didn't have the chance to truly live out things the way they were suppose to be.

2. A decent piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family. Does my bed count? Or maybe my rockin ikea dresser that I put together.

3. Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour. There is always something perfect for that moment.

4. A purse, a suitcase, and an umbrella you’re not ashamed to be seen carrying. Thank you, Marc Jacobs for my lovely purse that I live with. Thank you, Jeep for my awesome hard suitcase. Ok so when it comes to umbrellas I actually don't own one. I'm opposed to it because in Chicago the wind always blows umbrellas up and I'd just rather avoid that mess haha. 

5. A youth you’re content to move beyond. Definitely. 

6. A past juicy enough that you’re looking forward to retelling it in your old age. Nah, I better hurry though. 30 is in a month! 

7. The realization that you are actually going to have an old age -- and some money set aside to help fund it. Oh I know I'm going to get old and I make good money but how is it that I still live check to check with so many bills. Good old life. 

8. An email address, a voice mailbox, and a bank account -- all of which nobody has access to but you. Amen! 

9. A résumé that is not even the slightest bit padded. I'm proud of it and its very honest.

10. One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry. I have that friend. She is the best type of friend a person can have. We laugh hard and are honest with each other to the point that I have cried before. She's picked me up from crying through the tough times. 

11. A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra. A cordless drill? Really? Nah I don't even want one lol. What am I going to drill? 

12. Something ridiculously expensive that you bought for yourself, just because you deserve it. Does a new car count?

13. The belief that you deserve it. I really genuinely do believe that. Sometimes I need to remind myself though.

14. A skin-care regimen, an exercise routine, and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don’t get better after 30. Horrible at this. I need both. I suck at skin care because I don't even really think about it and I barely work out. I need to get in the gym I know it'll make me happier.

15. A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship, and all those other facets of life that do get better. I have a good start on the career I want to be in! I know who I want to be with in a relationship. It simply isn't the right time. I have a strong belief that they are the right person though. 

By 30, you should know ...

1. How to fall in love without losing yourself. I've never really had true long lasting love but I'm at the point in my life I can deal and not lose who I am. Only grow more and stronger.

2. How you feel about having kids. I know I don't want them. Well I didn't until I met that guy and he really wanted to them. 

3. How to quit a job, break up with a man, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship. Been there, done that and have definitely done that as well. 

4. When to try harder and when to walk away. I struggle with knowing this sometimes. Sometimes I'm afraid to keep on trying if I am not sure things will end up perfectly. 

5. How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn’t like to happen next. Yep ;)

6. The names of the secretary of state, your great-grandmothers, and the best tailor in town. Man I suck at this well accept of course I know my granny who passed.

7. How to live alone, even if you don’t like to. I've done it. It's boring but I can do it. 

8. Where to go -- be it your best friend’s kitchen table or a yoga mat -- when your soul needs soothing. The place is near my window so I can look at the amazing city lights. 

9. That you can’t change the length of your legs, the width of your hips, or the nature of your parents. Ok.

10. That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it’s over. I think I've known this a really long time. 

11. What you would and wouldn’t do for money or love. I think people will never truly know this unless in the situation. Love and money make us do crazy things. 

12. That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs, or not flossing for very long. Definitely know this. 

13. Who you can trust, who you can’t, and why you shouldn’t take it personally. Definitely a difficult thing to learn. Especially the part about taking it personally. 

14. Not to apologize for something that isn’t your fault. I'm horrible at this. I'm the queen of throwing out the words I'm sorry and also asking what's wrong. Two things I have to stop.

15. Why they say life begins at 30 I cannot wait to find out! 

I'll be honest. I did this more for myself in preparation of becoming 30. I'm not necessarily afraid of turning 30 but I know I haven't lived my life to the fullest yet. I really hope 30 is when life begins because I think I'm finally ready for it to begin.

Accepting a lie is accepting your own defeat

Accepting a liars lies is like accepting your own defeat. Don't let someone beat you by letting them lie to you. -Nycole aka me 

For the most part we have all been hurt before by someone we loved or cared for deeply. Whether that person be a significant other, family member or friend. Whether or not someone has the ability to hurt us depends on whether or not we give that person power to do so. I've been thinking about this a lot yesterday because I had quite the text blow out with an ex after believing some things he told me about the future and wanting to try again but then finding stuff online which obviously showed he was not so sincere. 

Sometimes I think we let people lie to us because we hope and pray that they don't really mean it or it's just a one time thing. But at what point does the one time mistake get old when you continue to use that excuse for a liar. I think I've let people lie to me because I take some blame for the reason they're lying. It is not the brightest thing I have done but I am not perfect and I have chosen to believe someone who says they care but shows the opposite.  After doing much thinking I realized I didn't miss this actual person or want that actual person back in my life I just wanted the feeling that I use to feel when I was with them. Sometimes people can be replaceable but the feeling is the one we need to fight for and look for in someone else.

I personally do not understand why people lie to those that they tell they love. What is the point of uttering those words if they are just a lie or a cover up? Why are people so afraid to stand alone in life that they hurt other just to keep them there while they plan their next move? It's not acceptable and I think people should take responsibility for the pain they cause others.

We as people need to be stronger and not accept the lies we know people are telling us. Even if its a tiny lie about where they were or why they are late, there is a reason they are lying. Most likely it leads to something much bigger that could break you if and when you find it out. We have to leave relationships as winners even if it hurts like hell in the moment. It's better to take momentary pain then permanent scaring.